Ancient ruins and KungFu

Today I was listening to a lecture between ancient ruins and people. Physical ruins are tangible and easily seen and ruins in a person are silent and hidden yet both physical and emotional ruins can be dealt with the same way.

You can rebuild over the ruins, covering them and making them look better but they are  always there.  Sometimes you create layers by building over and over again on top of the last layer.

The other option is tearing down right to the base and rebuilding again.  This option is a lot of extra work as you need to get right down to the bottom layer and be prepared for what you may dig up.  Both of these options give you a base to plant seeds for new growth and start over again, but its whats underneath that makes the difference.

So how does this tie into KungFu?  Ruins are also in everyone's KungFu journey, especially when your dealing with injury or limitations (mental or physical).  So how do you deal with them?   Do you gloss over them and just build on top of the issue or tear it down and really look at the problem?

It made me think how I have only recently decided to do some tearing, finding underlying issues and face them head on.  I had many years to tear away.  Identifying areas like extreme frustration when a quick fix isn't found, relying on others to help motivate me, and procrastination.  So what have I done?

• I have been working on my shoulder exercises daily, rebuilding the muscles so one day I will do normal push-ups. 
• Today I started phase 1 of my training for the 10K Sun Run.  Phase 1 is 8 weeks and Phase 2 is 8 weeks giving me a few weeks extra for fine tuning.  
• Each day I have been documenting in my journal (thank you google forms) working on this years requirements as well as next years.  

It has only been two weeks but I had to start somewhere.  These are the seeds I have planted and I can't just sit back and expect them to grow.   Consistent action is required!
See you in the kwoon!

Thinking about KungFu

As I look back to my blogging this year, I can truly say that I not only missed the boat, I think I missed the entire fleet.  But today is a new day and what a better way to reset than by blogging right now.

Yesterday I had the great opportunity to speak with Sifu Rybak about some things that have been nagging at me for awhile. 
When will I stop thinking about KungFu and just do it? Will I EVER get to that point? I like details! 
Sifu Rybak told me to start to focus on different types of  details. To trust her that it will come together, its just different for every person. That I don't need to stop thinking about KungFu but I need to change what I am thinking about (think about something like improving power or height instead of the details of the technique).  To  switch up partners, switch up activities, and start to find the actions that feel right and think about why they feel right.

So next class, Ms. Bjorkquist and I talked about how there are advantages about switching partners but there is a comfort when working with someone who knows each others injuries.  We then laughed over our breakup and chose different partners.  I didn't think I had a set partner but when I consciously chose to find someone else, it did feel a bit weird but I did learn lots that night.

I have also been thinking about how my fight choreography doesn't "feel right" and I now realize that its because I am trying to use muscle more than technique.  My stances are not solid and my center is WAY too high.  It will take more practice but I am trying to focus on this feeling and being okay with stumbling along the way.

So why does some of my techniques feel right and others I struggle so much with?  I think the ones that feel right are the ones that I can replicate 80% of the time without thinking.  Why don't I need to think on those ones and why can I replicate them with such a high success rate?  I am not sure, but I will definitely be trying those moves tomorrow and see what I can come up with.

I don't need to stop thinking about KungFu, but like changing partners, I just need to switch it up!
See you on the mats!
Jackie Kohut

Wants vs Needs

My best friend has described me perfectly, one paper away from being a hoarder! I keep everything!

Well spring is definitely in the air as proven by the Canadian Geese that have been flying overhead this weekend.  This is the time that even the hoarder in me is suppressed and wants to clean stuff out.  Mike and I have been watching videos about families who have gotten rid of everything and traveled around the country.  That is extreme cleaning!  As I looked around the house today, I saw all the "wants" and few of the "needs".  It actually started making me crazy. 

How do we find that fine line between keeping everything or only the things that we need?  How do we help our children distinguish between wants and needs?  What is the advantage of the complexity that we have created onto ourselves?

I read about a family that did not spend any money on anything new for a year (this did not include groceries, utilities, medications, etc).  I have been thinking about this for many months now.  Could our family do this for even a month?  Would this not be a great exercise in showing what really is a "want" verses a "need".  Maybe that will be one of my goals next year, better yet, I think I will try it this year.

See you at the kwoon!

Priorities

"You do this to yourself, you are always booked up and you just need to be busy".  This comment was said to me this week by a colleague when we were chatting about our weeks and it made me stop and take a look.   Do I just need to be  busy?  Am I doing things that are just wasting time?

One of my goals this year is the focus on priorities and make sure I am giving the quality effort to the activities that are important.  This comment made me look at each of my activities and evaluate if they are truly a priority.  Well the good news is everything that I looked at, I did not see any wastes of time for myself or my family.  It is very busy but that happens when you need to juggle kids as well and I am lucky because I have Mike who shares this workload.  But I also noticed areas for improvement.

• I needed to improve on my communication, even making sure things are written on a calendar.  Making sure that everyone knows what is happening at least a few days in advance. This is very important when you need to work together.
• I need to prioritize current activities from highest to lowest so when there  becomes a conflict or issue, and if I need to let something go I don't need to think about it in a crisis mode
• I need to have my list of friends who always offer to help so I can call on them if I do need them. I expect my friends to contact me so why do I feel guilty about asking for help?
• I have put a reminder on my calendar to review my priorities once a month to make sure nothing sneaks in on me.

I challenge you to take a look at activities in your life.  Is there anything that should be removed or improved on?  Are you communicating expectations and help needed to family and friends?  And if you are good today, do you have a plan to make sure your good tomorrow?

See you at the Kwoon!

Pain and Empathy

These last few weeks have been challenging and eye opening.  Two weeks ago I had my first tooth abscess and it was not pleasant at all, actually it hurt.  I ended up piggybacking Tylenol and Advil 24 hours a day for a solid week before the antibiotics finally kicked in.  I knew my head was not in the game at work or even during day to day activities but there was nothing that I could do.

During this week, Mike and I were taking our Kinship courses and we heard many hard stories.  Hearing how addictions were the major reason that children ended up in care outside of their home.  Aunts, Grandparents, friends all stepping up to help because of addictions. I have never really understood addictions or the true impact it has on all around but taking that course while I was going through my pain made me see things in a different light.

By all means, I am not trying to compare my week to someone suffering through an addiction BUT it opened my eyes just a little.  As I heard stories, the only feelings I had were of empathy.  Not once did I have a judgemental thought, and that to me was a huge step.  If we want to make a difference in the world, we need to truly empathize with someone to help.

This is what triggered last weeks poem and knowing that I do look at things differently today than before.   The only thing that has made me upset during this journey.....having a swollen jaw from an abscess when it should have been from sparring (I am working to keep those guards up).

See you at the Kwoon!

The Shades of Grey

I reflect to years ago...
I lived in Black and White
Choices one or two
Opinions for or against
Enough Knowledge to make the right decision
Grey was for the uncommitted
I hated Grey!

Thirty years later...
I live in the shades of Grey
Choices are many
Opinions waiver trying to envision your shoes
Searching for Wisdom while weighing each decision
Black and White the extremes of Grey
I respect Grey!

Chronic Injuries

Over the last few years I have been suffering from shoulder injuries, two years ago I was doing physio and trying to build it back up.  I finished physio and  thought I was back on the mend.  This lasted a few months until I was frustrated and over did it one day which sent me back to square one.  The problem is that I did not have sever pain but a constant dull throbbing, sometimes bothering me enough that I have to sleep on my back.  It's lasted so long that now its even causing embarrassment as I feel that I am always making excuses.  I know I don't always give 100%, I will stop short afraid that I may cause more damage.

One of my goals this year is to take better care of myself.  I am finally tired of modified push-ups and not really progressing.  I had a therapeutic message which loosened things up enough that I actually felt pain when I overexerted and that made me know I had to give it time to heal.  I have physio rebooked this week but this time I am not giving up.  I know it will be a long journey but I also know that if I don't do anything, I will never get better. 

As I write this out, it has also made me realize that this is a prime example of accepting mediocracy in my life.  So not only am I going to work to get better, I am not going to accept mediocracy.
See you at the kwoon!

Opportunities Lost and Found

Have you ever thought "Darn, I wish I would have....".  These are opportunities that have been lost and we all have them.  Most of them are gone forever. 

On March 16th, we are being presented with an obvious amazing opportunity.  Sifu Brinker's teacher, Sigung Brian Macdonald, is coming to Silent River to speak about our lineage.  This is an opportunity to meet a major KungFu influence and more exciting is the chance to ask him questions and hear him talk about KungFu in Alberta.  This is an opportunity that I do not want to miss out on. 

Another great example is when last year, Simon, Mike and I had the privilege of attending the Alabama Build-Vention. It was an opportunity that we almost never took due to finances, time off for school, work, ...(the list was actually quite large).  Well, we just found out that Alabama is not running this year so if we would have "waited until next year" I would have had regrets instead of great memories, new friendships, and life changing experiences.  I am so thankful we grabbed this opportunity or it would have been lost forever.  Below are some pictures of this great experience.

Our Accommodations

Cozy!

Visiting with Tom Callos and making new friends

Evening activities

Our Projects

Simon, Sarah, Jacqueline and I were on scrapping and painting duty, the others on wall, floors and murals

Around Town

We had time to explore the town and surroundings

Riding a bamboo bike built right in Greensboro

Lunch at the Pie Lab

Not quite the bridges we are used to

Taking the opportunity to get push-ups in

Fun Time

Awesome architecture - Old

and New

Pizza Night with the community

History that makes you really appreciate what we have today

Currently our family is planning a cross Canada trip this summer so we can be in Ottawa for the 150th year anniversary.  This is another once in a lifetime opportunity that I am so looking forward to.  Recalling these obvious opportunities has made me realize that I also need to keep my eyes open for opportunities that are not so obvious, ones that come from Acts of Kindness, and ones that come from being at the right place at the right time. 

Here's to the opportunities found and minimizing the ones that are lost.  See you at the Kwoon!

Year of the Rooster

The Year of the Rooster has started and my journey with it.  We had our I Ho Chuan meeting today and Sifu Brinker talked about the promise we made to him regarding our requirements.  It made me think how come it is always easier to make a promise to someone else then to yourself?  Is it because you are now accountable to this person?

There seems to be two groups of people, the ones who do things for others and the ones that only do things for themselves.  For the first group, if you only focus on doing things for others you may be doing them for the wrong reason  or you may be doing it benefit you and not even realize it.  The second group, which seems to be growing everyday, you can have such tunnel vision on how something benefits you that you miss things right in front of you.
Which group are you in?   At first I would like to say I am in the first but when I really look at it, I move from one to the other depending on the situation.

Does keeping a promise to yourself put you into the group of thinking only of yourself?  Some would say it does but I believe there is a third group.  This group of people are ones that know that keeping a promise to themselves also ends up benefiting others.  Knowing that you are true to yourself allows you to make choices with no doubt. They keep their promises to others because they know how to keep them to themselves.  I know this group exists because I've seen them, especially in I Ho Chuan.  This is the group I want to belong in!

I believe a promise should be unbreakable, but yet I have broken many a promise to both myself and others. This has bothered me so much that I began to NOT commit to a promise instead of making a false one.  That left me in a place where I am constantly wondering and doubting many decisions that I make and now I want to change this.  Many of my goals this year are on self discovery and change and I hope that others will see a change but either way I am doing this journey for me!

Monkey to Rooster

The year of the Monkey comes to a close, and there are many things to reflect on over the last year.

This year was a difficult one as I ran into a number of hurdles that only a few people were aware of just due to the fact that I didn't blog anything about it. I hit a point where work was so stressful that I withdrew from both family, friends, and Kung Fu. Family time had struggles as we dealt with Simon's anxiety, the sudden move of Eagle and Seth into our home, and all the changes that of occurred with this. My Kung Fu struggled as I constantly dealt with a shoulder injury, actually starting to hate my weapons form, and many thoughts of self doubt.

But without Kung Fu I am not sure that I could've recovered as I have. I am just as busy at work, if not busier, but I am not feeling the stress quite as bad. I am able to look at my weapons form with a more mindful approach and critical eye. I look forward to every minute with my family (well almost LOL), although it is busier now than ever before.

It has allowed me to reset, take a look at what I'm doing wrong, as well as the things I'm doing right in all aspects of my life. The year of the rooster is fast approaching and it comes with both excitement and dread. For now I know how little it takes to "fail" but I also realize how little it takes to "succeed". There's just a lot more tiny steps forward for success.

Thank you Monkey team! I am really looking forward to the year of the Rooster!