Wants vs Needs

My best friend has described me perfectly, one paper away from being a hoarder! I keep everything!

Well spring is definitely in the air as proven by the Canadian Geese that have been flying overhead this weekend.  This is the time that even the hoarder in me is suppressed and wants to clean stuff out.  Mike and I have been watching videos about families who have gotten rid of everything and traveled around the country.  That is extreme cleaning!  As I looked around the house today, I saw all the "wants" and few of the "needs".  It actually started making me crazy. 

How do we find that fine line between keeping everything or only the things that we need?  How do we help our children distinguish between wants and needs?  What is the advantage of the complexity that we have created onto ourselves?

I read about a family that did not spend any money on anything new for a year (this did not include groceries, utilities, medications, etc).  I have been thinking about this for many months now.  Could our family do this for even a month?  Would this not be a great exercise in showing what really is a "want" verses a "need".  Maybe that will be one of my goals next year, better yet, I think I will try it this year.

See you at the kwoon!

Priorities

"You do this to yourself, you are always booked up and you just need to be busy".  This comment was said to me this week by a colleague when we were chatting about our weeks and it made me stop and take a look.   Do I just need to be  busy?  Am I doing things that are just wasting time?

One of my goals this year is the focus on priorities and make sure I am giving the quality effort to the activities that are important.  This comment made me look at each of my activities and evaluate if they are truly a priority.  Well the good news is everything that I looked at, I did not see any wastes of time for myself or my family.  It is very busy but that happens when you need to juggle kids as well and I am lucky because I have Mike who shares this workload.  But I also noticed areas for improvement.

• I needed to improve on my communication, even making sure things are written on a calendar.  Making sure that everyone knows what is happening at least a few days in advance. This is very important when you need to work together.
• I need to prioritize current activities from highest to lowest so when there  becomes a conflict or issue, and if I need to let something go I don't need to think about it in a crisis mode
• I need to have my list of friends who always offer to help so I can call on them if I do need them. I expect my friends to contact me so why do I feel guilty about asking for help?
• I have put a reminder on my calendar to review my priorities once a month to make sure nothing sneaks in on me.

I challenge you to take a look at activities in your life.  Is there anything that should be removed or improved on?  Are you communicating expectations and help needed to family and friends?  And if you are good today, do you have a plan to make sure your good tomorrow?

See you at the Kwoon!

Pain and Empathy

These last few weeks have been challenging and eye opening.  Two weeks ago I had my first tooth abscess and it was not pleasant at all, actually it hurt.  I ended up piggybacking Tylenol and Advil 24 hours a day for a solid week before the antibiotics finally kicked in.  I knew my head was not in the game at work or even during day to day activities but there was nothing that I could do.

During this week, Mike and I were taking our Kinship courses and we heard many hard stories.  Hearing how addictions were the major reason that children ended up in care outside of their home.  Aunts, Grandparents, friends all stepping up to help because of addictions. I have never really understood addictions or the true impact it has on all around but taking that course while I was going through my pain made me see things in a different light.

By all means, I am not trying to compare my week to someone suffering through an addiction BUT it opened my eyes just a little.  As I heard stories, the only feelings I had were of empathy.  Not once did I have a judgemental thought, and that to me was a huge step.  If we want to make a difference in the world, we need to truly empathize with someone to help.

This is what triggered last weeks poem and knowing that I do look at things differently today than before.   The only thing that has made me upset during this journey.....having a swollen jaw from an abscess when it should have been from sparring (I am working to keep those guards up).

See you at the Kwoon!