This blog is about my weight struggles throughout these last 3 years. Before I started my treatment program I was 145lbs, the lowest I’d been in years and that was due to my blackbelt grading year and the years leading to that. At that time, I was in the best shape of my life although I knew I could still improve. That was my mindset.
I really don’t know what my lowest weight was but there was a time that I was given nutrition by IV as I was failing to thrive. I hadn’t eaten anything in many days and I couldn’t keep anything down. That was probably my lowest and it wouldn’t surprise me if I hit 130 or even lower as I had also lost all muscle mass.
The first year, all they want you to do is take in lots of protein and calories. Added to that was a super strong anti rejection medication and 9 months later I was at the highest weight I had ever been at, including my pregnancies, 199 lbs. That is over 70 pounds in 9 months. My medical team would always say “we worry about weight after year 1, keep doing what you are doing” so I wasn’t really worried until I got off my immunosuppressants and the weight didn’t just drop off. That is so mean! Mentally I struggled with my weight gain, decreased self image, hating to buy clothes, wanting to go on a quick fix diet but knowing it was wrong. I had to ignore the scale and really focus on doing my exercises and to keep being as active as I could. Every couple of weeks I would check with the scale to make sure I was on the right path.
Yesterday I weighed 171 and I know 8 weeks ago I broke the 180s because I was so excited about that. I am coming up to year 3 and still I am fighting with each pound. I was going to wait until I broke the 170s to blog but I want to rejoice in the small win because I am almost there and I know that this blog will help me be mindful of the food that I eat and motivated to continue the exercises that I do. This is still not a healthy weight but it is in the right direction with the right momentum and so I will take that win!
Today was the first day in 10 days that I finally feel better. Numbers really suffered but got a few in.
