These last few weeks have been challenging and eye opening. Two weeks ago I had my first tooth abscess and it was not pleasant at all, actually it hurt. I ended up piggybacking Tylenol and Advil 24 hours a day for a solid week before the antibiotics finally kicked in. I knew my head was not in the game at work or even during day to day activities but there was nothing that I could do.
During this week, Mike and I were taking our Kinship courses and we heard many hard stories. Hearing how addictions were the major reason that children ended up in care outside of their home. Aunts, Grandparents, friends all stepping up to help because of addictions. I have never really understood addictions or the true impact it has on all around but taking that course while I was going through my pain made me see things in a different light.
By all means, I am not trying to compare my week to someone suffering through an addiction BUT it opened my eyes just a little. As I heard stories, the only feelings I had were of empathy. Not once did I have a judgemental thought, and that to me was a huge step. If we want to make a difference in the world, we need to truly empathize with someone to help.
This is what triggered last weeks poem and knowing that I do look at things differently today than before. The only thing that has made me upset during this journey.....having a swollen jaw from an abscess when it should have been from sparring (I am working to keep those guards up).
See you at the Kwoon!
Sunday, 5 March 2017
Sunday, 26 February 2017
The Shades of Grey
I reflect to years ago...
I lived in Black and White
Choices one or two
Opinions for or against
Enough Knowledge to make the right decision
Grey was for the uncommitted
I hated Grey!
Thirty years later...
I live in the shades of Grey
Choices are many
Opinions waiver trying to envision your shoes
Searching for Wisdom while weighing each decision
Black and White the extremes of Grey
I respect Grey!
I lived in Black and White
Choices one or two
Opinions for or against
Enough Knowledge to make the right decision
Grey was for the uncommitted
I hated Grey!
Thirty years later...
I live in the shades of Grey
Choices are many
Opinions waiver trying to envision your shoes
Searching for Wisdom while weighing each decision
Black and White the extremes of Grey
I respect Grey!
Sunday, 19 February 2017
Chronic Injuries
Over the last few years I have been suffering from shoulder injuries, two years ago I was doing physio and trying to build it back up. I finished physio and thought I was back on the mend. This lasted a few months until I was frustrated and over did it one day which sent me back to square one. The problem is that I did not have sever pain but a constant dull throbbing, sometimes bothering me enough that I have to sleep on my back. It's lasted so long that now its even causing embarrassment as I feel that I am always making excuses. I know I don't always give 100%, I will stop short afraid that I may cause more damage.
One of my goals this year is to take better care of myself. I am finally tired of modified push-ups and not really progressing. I had a therapeutic message which loosened things up enough that I actually felt pain when I overexerted and that made me know I had to give it time to heal. I have physio rebooked this week but this time I am not giving up. I know it will be a long journey but I also know that if I don't do anything, I will never get better.
As I write this out, it has also made me realize that this is a prime example of accepting mediocracy in my life. So not only am I going to work to get better, I am not going to accept mediocracy.
See you at the kwoon!
One of my goals this year is to take better care of myself. I am finally tired of modified push-ups and not really progressing. I had a therapeutic message which loosened things up enough that I actually felt pain when I overexerted and that made me know I had to give it time to heal. I have physio rebooked this week but this time I am not giving up. I know it will be a long journey but I also know that if I don't do anything, I will never get better.
As I write this out, it has also made me realize that this is a prime example of accepting mediocracy in my life. So not only am I going to work to get better, I am not going to accept mediocracy.
See you at the kwoon!
Saturday, 11 February 2017
Opportunities Lost and Found
Have you ever thought "Darn, I wish I would have....". These are opportunities that have been lost and we all have them. Most of them are gone forever.
On March 16th, we are being presented with an obvious amazing opportunity. Sifu Brinker's teacher, Sigung Brian Macdonald, is coming to Silent River to speak about our lineage. This is an opportunity to meet a major KungFu influence and more exciting is the chance to ask him questions and hear him talk about KungFu in Alberta. This is an opportunity that I do not want to miss out on.
Another great example is when last year, Simon, Mike and I had the privilege of attending the Alabama Build-Vention. It was an opportunity that we almost never took due to finances, time off for school, work, ...(the list was actually quite large). Well, we just found out that Alabama is not running this year so if we would have "waited until next year" I would have had regrets instead of great memories, new friendships, and life changing experiences. I am so thankful we grabbed this opportunity or it would have been lost forever. Below are some pictures of this great experience.
Currently our family is planning a cross Canada trip this summer so we can be in Ottawa for the 150th year anniversary. This is another once in a lifetime opportunity that I am so looking forward to. Recalling these obvious opportunities has made me realize that I also need to keep my eyes open for opportunities that are not so obvious, ones that come from Acts of Kindness, and ones that come from being at the right place at the right time.
Here's to the opportunities found and minimizing the ones that are lost. See you at the Kwoon!
On March 16th, we are being presented with an obvious amazing opportunity. Sifu Brinker's teacher, Sigung Brian Macdonald, is coming to Silent River to speak about our lineage. This is an opportunity to meet a major KungFu influence and more exciting is the chance to ask him questions and hear him talk about KungFu in Alberta. This is an opportunity that I do not want to miss out on.
Another great example is when last year, Simon, Mike and I had the privilege of attending the Alabama Build-Vention. It was an opportunity that we almost never took due to finances, time off for school, work, ...(the list was actually quite large). Well, we just found out that Alabama is not running this year so if we would have "waited until next year" I would have had regrets instead of great memories, new friendships, and life changing experiences. I am so thankful we grabbed this opportunity or it would have been lost forever. Below are some pictures of this great experience.
Our Accommodations
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Cozy!
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| Visiting with Tom Callos and making new friends |
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| Evening activities |
Our Projects
Simon, Sarah, Jacqueline and I were on scrapping and painting duty, the others on wall, floors and murals
Around Town
We had time to explore the town and surroundings
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| Riding a bamboo bike built right in Greensboro |
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| Lunch at the Pie Lab |
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| Not quite the bridges we are used to |
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Taking the opportunity to get push-ups in
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| Fun Time |
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| Awesome architecture - Old |
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| and New |
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| Pizza Night with the community |
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| History that makes you really appreciate what we have today |
Currently our family is planning a cross Canada trip this summer so we can be in Ottawa for the 150th year anniversary. This is another once in a lifetime opportunity that I am so looking forward to. Recalling these obvious opportunities has made me realize that I also need to keep my eyes open for opportunities that are not so obvious, ones that come from Acts of Kindness, and ones that come from being at the right place at the right time.
Here's to the opportunities found and minimizing the ones that are lost. See you at the Kwoon!
Saturday, 4 February 2017
Year of the Rooster
The Year of the Rooster has started and my journey with it. We had our I Ho Chuan meeting today and Sifu Brinker talked about the promise we made to him regarding our requirements. It made me think how come it is always easier to make a promise to someone else then to yourself? Is it because you are now accountable to this person?
There seems to be two groups of people, the ones who do things for others and the ones that only do things for themselves. For the first group, if you only focus on doing things for others you may be doing them for the wrong reason or you may be doing it benefit you and not even realize it. The second group, which seems to be growing everyday, you can have such tunnel vision on how something benefits you that you miss things right in front of you.
Which group are you in? At first I would like to say I am in the first but when I really look at it, I move from one to the other depending on the situation.
Does keeping a promise to yourself put you into the group of thinking only of yourself? Some would say it does but I believe there is a third group. This group of people are ones that know that keeping a promise to themselves also ends up benefiting others. Knowing that you are true to yourself allows you to make choices with no doubt. They keep their promises to others because they know how to keep them to themselves. I know this group exists because I've seen them, especially in I Ho Chuan. This is the group I want to belong in!
I believe a promise should be unbreakable, but yet I have broken many a promise to both myself and others. This has bothered me so much that I began to NOT commit to a promise instead of making a false one. That left me in a place where I am constantly wondering and doubting many decisions that I make and now I want to change this. Many of my goals this year are on self discovery and change and I hope that others will see a change but either way I am doing this journey for me!
There seems to be two groups of people, the ones who do things for others and the ones that only do things for themselves. For the first group, if you only focus on doing things for others you may be doing them for the wrong reason or you may be doing it benefit you and not even realize it. The second group, which seems to be growing everyday, you can have such tunnel vision on how something benefits you that you miss things right in front of you.
Which group are you in? At first I would like to say I am in the first but when I really look at it, I move from one to the other depending on the situation.
Does keeping a promise to yourself put you into the group of thinking only of yourself? Some would say it does but I believe there is a third group. This group of people are ones that know that keeping a promise to themselves also ends up benefiting others. Knowing that you are true to yourself allows you to make choices with no doubt. They keep their promises to others because they know how to keep them to themselves. I know this group exists because I've seen them, especially in I Ho Chuan. This is the group I want to belong in!
I believe a promise should be unbreakable, but yet I have broken many a promise to both myself and others. This has bothered me so much that I began to NOT commit to a promise instead of making a false one. That left me in a place where I am constantly wondering and doubting many decisions that I make and now I want to change this. Many of my goals this year are on self discovery and change and I hope that others will see a change but either way I am doing this journey for me!
Sunday, 22 January 2017
Monkey to Rooster
The year of the Monkey comes to a close, and there are many things to reflect on over the last year.
This year was a difficult one as I ran into a number of hurdles that only a few people were aware of just due to the fact that I didn't blog anything about it. I hit a point where work was so stressful that I withdrew from both family, friends, and Kung Fu. Family time had struggles as we dealt with Simon's anxiety, the sudden move of Eagle and Seth into our home, and all the changes that of occurred with this. My Kung Fu struggled as I constantly dealt with a shoulder injury, actually starting to hate my weapons form, and many thoughts of self doubt.
But without Kung Fu I am not sure that I could've recovered as I have. I am just as busy at work, if not busier, but I am not feeling the stress quite as bad. I am able to look at my weapons form with a more mindful approach and critical eye. I look forward to every minute with my family (well almost LOL), although it is busier now than ever before.
It has allowed me to reset, take a look at what I'm doing wrong, as well as the things I'm doing right in all aspects of my life. The year of the rooster is fast approaching and it comes with both excitement and dread. For now I know how little it takes to "fail" but I also realize how little it takes to "succeed". There's just a lot more tiny steps forward for success.
Thank you Monkey team! I am really looking forward to the year of the Rooster!
This year was a difficult one as I ran into a number of hurdles that only a few people were aware of just due to the fact that I didn't blog anything about it. I hit a point where work was so stressful that I withdrew from both family, friends, and Kung Fu. Family time had struggles as we dealt with Simon's anxiety, the sudden move of Eagle and Seth into our home, and all the changes that of occurred with this. My Kung Fu struggled as I constantly dealt with a shoulder injury, actually starting to hate my weapons form, and many thoughts of self doubt.
But without Kung Fu I am not sure that I could've recovered as I have. I am just as busy at work, if not busier, but I am not feeling the stress quite as bad. I am able to look at my weapons form with a more mindful approach and critical eye. I look forward to every minute with my family (well almost LOL), although it is busier now than ever before.
It has allowed me to reset, take a look at what I'm doing wrong, as well as the things I'm doing right in all aspects of my life. The year of the rooster is fast approaching and it comes with both excitement and dread. For now I know how little it takes to "fail" but I also realize how little it takes to "succeed". There's just a lot more tiny steps forward for success.
Thank you Monkey team! I am really looking forward to the year of the Rooster!
Monday, 11 July 2016
The small things!
I love waking my children up in the morning, watching them open their eyes and start the day anew.
I love hearing the birds sing, hearing the noises of nature, the buzz of insects, walking the dogs.
I love to watch the sun rise, the colors that paint the sky as the sun sets. The clouds floating by, the wind in the trees.
I love to watch the storm roll in, the wind pick up, see the lightening flash across the sky. Hear the thunder. Smell the rain. Stare in awe at the rainbow.
I love walking into the kwoon, the smell of sweat and bleach. I love a good warmup. Learning new things, trying to perfect past activities. The friendships I have made, the team that has been built. The challenge and the opportunities.
These are the small things that I am trying not to take for granted, what are yours?
I love hearing the birds sing, hearing the noises of nature, the buzz of insects, walking the dogs.
I love to watch the sun rise, the colors that paint the sky as the sun sets. The clouds floating by, the wind in the trees.
I love to watch the storm roll in, the wind pick up, see the lightening flash across the sky. Hear the thunder. Smell the rain. Stare in awe at the rainbow.
I love walking into the kwoon, the smell of sweat and bleach. I love a good warmup. Learning new things, trying to perfect past activities. The friendships I have made, the team that has been built. The challenge and the opportunities.
These are the small things that I am trying not to take for granted, what are yours?
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