Self-Mastery

This weekend, I had the pleasure of attending a Mindvalley spiritual summit—two full days of meditation, awakenings, Qi Gong, energy work, and so much more. One of the speakers who impacted me most was Shi Heng Yi, a Green Dragon Shaolin monk whose presence was powerful.

He spoke about simple yet profound truths: everything you need is already within you, and the path to any goal is paved with determination, commitment, and patience. He explained how martial artists choose a target and reach it through these three qualities—not by rushing, but by steady, disciplined practice.

Shi Heng Yi also reflected on how our modern society glorifies constant striving. We push to become better, faster, more productive—often forgetting the value of stillness and the art of simply being. He reminded us that in spiritual and energetic work, we can only give what we have. Peace must exist within us before we can offer peace to others. We must learn to manage ourselves before we attempt to manage anything—or anyone—else.

Another point that resonated deeply was his perspective on seeking spirituality outside ourselves. When we chase teachers, masters, or endless sources of new knowledge, what we seek seems to slip further away. True understanding doesn’t come from accumulation—it comes from inward exploration. It is the mastery of the self that unlocks deeper awareness.

These were the insights I carried away from his lecture: a renewed understanding that the journey is inward, and that self-mastery is the foundation for everything. His words grounded the unsettled feelings I’ve carried—those moments of wondering “Why am I still here?” or “What is my path?”. Instead of searching for answers outside myself, I feel gratitude for being exactly where I am, and a deeper appreciation for the path I’m already walking.

NUMBERS

Pushups (modified): 10405

Situps (modified):  7420

Sparring: 81

KMs: 1403

AOKs: 1310

Blogs: 36

Mastery byu Stuart Emery:  Incomplete

Relationship Mend Status:  Complete

Da Mu Hsing: 250

Weapon Form: 150

Germain: 5210

Meditation: 1645

Tai Chi: 1305

Decluttering: 710

Yoga, Stretching, Exercise: 1530

Learning to Feel Energy and Not Chase It!

During Tai Chi, I have been focusing on energy. At first, whenever I felt it, I immediately wanted to control it—shape it, move it, do something with it. And the moment I tried, the feeling would disappear. I was always chasing it.

Eventually, I decided to stop. Instead of trying to manipulate the energy, I just let myself feel it. Can I feel it? That became my only question. Almost instantly, the sensations became easier to notice—stronger, clearer, and longer-lasting.

When Sifu Brinker and I talked about this, we shifted to discussing energy within forms. That was my aha moment. I had changed how I approached energy in Tai Chi, but I hadn’t applied that same mindset to my forms.

Now, instead of worrying about directing energy, I will simply feel it when I punch, kick, block, or transition between stances. Only by feeling it first can I learn to truly harness it.

I can’t wait to see where the next step leads.

NUMBERS

Pushups (modified): 10403

Situps (modified):  7420

Sparring: 81

KMs: 1383

AOKs: 1285

Blogs: 35

Mastery byu Stuart Emery:  Incomplete

Relationship Mend Status:  Complete

Da Mu Hsing: 240

Weapon Form: 142

Germain: 5180

Meditation: 985

Tai Chi: 1255

Decluttering: 660

Yoga, Stretching, Exercise: 1530

Relearning to Fall

This week I tried a few backwards break falls. It’s been a long time since I last did one, and that was obvious with the first attempt — I didn’t really break my fall at all.

I kept going, though, and after a few more tries, they started to feel better. During my 1-1, we talked about why I was doing these. The better I recover, the more I confront my ego. Was it my ego wanting to prove something? Honestly, no.

This was something I had complete control over, even if it was outside my comfort zone. I want to rebuild these skills that have slipped. I want my instinct to be to break fall when I fall — a reaction that could make a real difference, especially as I get older. The only thing I need to prove is that I can do it when it matters.

Revisiting old skills reminds me that growth isn’t always about pushing forward — sometimes it’s about returning to the basics and finding confidence in them again. Learning to fall safely isn’t just a physical skill; it’s a mindset. It’s about trusting yourself to handle the unexpected, to recover quickly, and to rise without hesitation. Each break fall is a quiet reminder that resilience is something you can practice, one fall at a time.

NUMBERS

Pushups (modified): 9703

Situps (modified):  6870

Sparring: 80

KMs: 1349

AOKs: 1260

Blogs: 33

Mastery byu Stuart Emery:  Incomplete

Relationship Mend Status:  Complete

Da Mu Hsing: 240

Weapon Form: 142

Germain: 5030

Meditation: 825

Tai Chi: 1255

Decluttering: 660

Yoga, Stretching, Exercise: 1390

Sunday Meals!

We’ve started a new tradition — Sunday Family Meals. With everyone’s busy schedules, this is the one time each week we all make an effort to gather. My parents and Mike’s dad will join us if they can, and Eagle and Seth come too. It’s our chance to reflect on the past week, talk about what’s ahead, and simply enjoy being together.

I treasure these moments. You never know how many you’ll have with someone.

Today, my mom and dad came for a visit. During our walk, we talked about old memories — how we each remembered the same event differently. We swapped recipes and laughed over shared stories.

So how does this relate to Kung Fu?

Our class time is like that family meal. It’s a time to come together, to share, to learn, and to grow. When everyone treats it as a priority, it stops feeling like an obligation and becomes something you truly look forward to.

Just as with family, these training moments won’t last forever. Right now, we’re fortunate to have our Sifus with us — to ask questions, to see their unique perspectives on the same technique. Like when Sifu Dennis helped me with “picking up the tea cup” in Tai Chi.  I kept trying to move too soon, rather than pausing, releasing, and then truly thinking about the action. Without her guidance, I would still feel jammed in that movement and wouldn’t have progressed as much as I have today.

Whether it’s family meals or Kung Fu practice, the lesson is the same: be present, appreciate the time you have, and learn from every shared moment.

NUMBERS

Pushups (modified): 9253

Situps (modified):  6620

Sparring: 71

KMs: 1319

AOKs: 1235

Blogs: 32

Mastery byu Stuart Emery:  Incomplete

Relationship Mend Status:  Complete

Da Mu Hsing: 235

Weapon Form: 142

Germain: 4880

Meditation: 825

Tai Chi: 1205

Decluttering: 630

Yoga, Stretching, Exercise: 1270

Days of Zen: behind 

I Am Thankful!

These last few weeks at work have been stressful. It started with being told to take two unpaid days, followed by the message that it “would not impact patient care.” That line stung — it made me question my worth and motivation. Then came the layoffs, and now the move to another organization. It’s been a lot.

But tonight, I am thankful.

Today, I helped again with feeding the underprivileged. Being around people who volunteer to package food is always uplifting, but handing out the meals — that’s what really grounds me. It’s cold out there, and the snow hasn’t even started yet. Despite the chill, everyone was grateful for a warm lunch. We handed out 250 meals, and even that wasn’t enough. A fellow volunteer and I walked food to those who couldn’t come to us — some because of mobility issues, others because they were huddled in spots they couldn’t leave. And who could blame them?

Tonight, I’m thankful for a job that keeps a roof over my head, pays the bills, allows my family to stay together, and puts food in our bellies. I’m thankful for being under my duvet after a warm shower.

Today put everything back into perspective. Gratitude doesn’t erase hardship, but it reminds me that I still have so much — and that giving, even when we feel depleted, fills us back up.

The Journey Within – A Meditation Experience to Remember

Earlier this month, I attended a meditation seminar called “The Journey Within.” The evening began with a powerful opening by an Indigenous elder, who offered a prayer accompanied by the steady, grounding rhythm of his drum. I’ve always found that drum work moves me deeply—it connects me to something greater while simultaneously setting me free.

Then came Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. It has been over 20 years since he last visited Edmonton, and being in his presence was both enlightening and humbling. He spoke about the importance of collective action—asking us how we were going to make a difference in the world, and how each of us can contribute to creating positive change.

Throughout the event, a group led us through beautiful meditations using chants and drumming, creating an atmosphere that was both serene and invigorating.

It was truly a unique and transformative experience—one that left me feeling grateful, centered, and inspired. I’m already looking forward to the next opportunity to “journey within.”

NUMBERS

Pushups (modified): 8928

Situps (modified):  6445

Sparring: 70

KMs: 1283

AOKs: 1173

Blogs: 30

Mastery byu Stuart Emery:  Incomplete

Relationship Mend Status:  Complete

Da Mu Hsing: 235

Weapon Form: 142

Germain: 4730

Meditation: 825

Tai Chi: 1153

Decluttering: 600

Yoga, Stretching, Exercise: 1200

Days of Zen: behind 

Getting Back on Track—One Board at a Time

The past few weeks haven’t been great, and my training has taken a hit. So what’s the best way to get back on track? Board breaking, of course!

Today was our breakathon—my second since the transplant. Last year, I was just happy to attend. This year, I wanted to do more. But I’m walking a fine line between what I want to do and what I should do.

Due to treatments, I now have moderate osteoporosis, which puts me at a medium risk of fractures. That’s actually an improvement—last year, it was high risk—thanks to medication. Still, I’m learning where I can safely push myself and how far.

This year, I used lighter rebreakable boards but increased the difficulty slightly if a technique felt strong. Some went really well, others… not so much. And seriously—why is my side heel still kicking smurfs? Someone tell my body the target is a little higher up!

But I ended the evening with an elbow break on a wooden board—and it went well. I was confident, my technique felt solid, and I stayed in control. It was more than a physical challenge—it was a personal one. And I showed up for it.

It wasn’t just about breaking boards—it was about proving to myself that I’m still growing, still pushing, and still capable. I can’t wait for next year!