Self Doubt

I do not like self doubt!  I like to analyze things and then make a decision.  Once my decision is made, I will stick with it until other facts are presented that may changes my path. This week I have had two things that have made me doubt my decisions. 

The first is due to a new position that I have applied for.  I work very closely with two directors who have also become friends.  Although they are very supportive, one has also has made it very clear that he does not want me to leave.  That my leaving would be have a negative impact to his business.  I must say its is a very nice feeling to know you have done a good job but now I am second guessing my decision for even applying.  Am I doing this for the right reason? Is my current team at the high functioning level that I believe they are at or will I leave them in a mess? I believe I have left a good succession path but am I really seeing the truth?

The second is my form decision.   I chose to do Stick 1 and 3 since I am also learning a net new hand form.  But it feels like I am the only one who is not developing a form.  Now I am second guessing myself again. Did I take the easy way out? Is perfecting this form good enough?   Is there an opportunity that I may be missing by not creating my own form?

I know that I will carry forward with both paths as this is only my journey to take, but I also know that it is time for me to talk to people, to make sure that I am looking at things with my eyes open.  I think the thing harder for me than self doubt might be asking for help along the path.

Feb Numbers

This week has been pretty rough.  My numbers are not where they should be after the week of flu/cold.  It feels like I'm starting over again.  This is more of an excuse then a reason and now I need to get back on track.  I also know some of my numbers are lower since I missed journaling them. 

P/U (modified) 895
S/U 1220
Hand Form (what I know of it so far) 18
Weapon Form 33
Rounds of sparring 0
Distance in km 36
AOK 28

The WOW factor

Wow!  That is the only thing that keeps coming to mind when I think of yesterday's ceremony.  It is a prime example of ordinary  people doing extraordinary work.  It is very humbling to be around so many of these people and their attitude is always so infectious.  I was very lucky to be become involved in such an amazing team this year, and having an active part in the ceremony brought another perspective to this amazing day.  This day could not have happened without everyone!

There is not a single person on the I Ho Chuan team (past and present) that has not had an impact on me this year.  These have ranged from obvious assistance and advice, to the silent acts that I have witnessed.  If you cannot think of how you may have influenced me,  we definitely need to chat.
Please take a moment to think about the positive impacts that YOU have had on the other members of the team and the people around you. 

The Monkey team has been given a challenge, to continue the momentum that the Sheep team created.  Are YOU willing to accept this challenge?  I know that together not only can we  accept the challenge but bring our own WOW factor to the year ahead  Lets go MONKEYS!

"Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees" - The Monkees

Week 1

Monkey Week 1
Modified push-ups 530
Sit-ups 700
Hand form 10 (the first 7 moves)
Weapons form 13
Distance 3 (I am buying a Fitbit cause I am sure I have done way more)
AOK 12 (need to log these more)

Things I learned. 
Should have been training sooner (huh, who told us that?)
Its okay to do modified.
Need to log more constantly

First setback!  Haven't done ANYTHING these last two days as I have been sick (low grade fever, coughing, just feeling blah).  At least I will be better by Friday but my numbers aren't very good.

Sportsmanship

Our middle son loves soccer, he loves the teamwork, he loves the sport.  He has been lucky to be on a team that also focuses on sportsmanship.  This year we received an email how our son’s soccer coaches were proud that the team showed such good sportsmanship during a tough game and how the kids played hard but had fun.  We later heard about the other team players and coaches swearing and how our team did not retaliate but just played harder.  We witnessed the parents being warned by the referee for their behaviour during the game.  This was not an isolated occurrence and speaking with parents of other sports, this is not unique to soccer.  How can we expect the behaviour of the children to be any different than the adults around them?  How do we expect the behaviour of those around us to be any different if we don’t set the example ourselves?  Not only am I proud of my son and his teammates during that game, I am also proud of his coaches as they were instrumental in ensuring good sportsmanship continued throughout the game and the year.

What is sportsmanship?  The Merriam-Webster Dictionary states “fair play, respect for opponents, and polite behavior by someone who is competing in a sport or other competition”.  Kung Fu focuses on both individual and teamwork but the one thing that I have noticed is the there is not a focus on “good sportsmanship” and I believe the reason for this is because it is considered a foundation of Silent River; it is a requirement not an option.  It is modeled in class by instructors, it is expected from all students, it’s taught in class (e.g. how to be a good partner), and involves everyone trying to support each other in a positive way.  Wouldn’t it be nicer if we could find these actions more ingrained in our society instead of these few isolated instances?

I am using my I Ho Chuan year as an opportunity for a personal self-awareness journey.   I am trying to be aware of my actions and reactions and what example they may be setting to those around me.  The only thing that I have control of is my actions and my thoughts, and only I can make the negative into a positive.  Maybe if more people tried this, we wouldn’t need to worry about defining “sportsmanship”?

Supporting your children

Its been a difficult week watching those around me dealing with issues.  Being a person who does not like seeing other people hurting, this has also been very hard on me.  That is probably the reason I ended up in the healthcare field, I want to help.  But how do we support those around us in the correct way?

It is so easy to jump in and try to solve the problem.  I have been working for many years to halt this immediate response and it truly still takes a conscious effort.  I know that solving someone else's problems does not help that person learn and grow but it's still hard to just sit there. Sometimes its easier just to do it yourself, but that is only a temporary fix.

One of the hardest things is a parent watching a child struggle.  You want to give them the tools so they can grow, not just give them the answers.  You try to instill good work ethics, critical thinking, and accountability which seems to be slipping in this day and age.  In the end it is still up to them to make the choices and want to learn even if it is frustrating for us.  You can only guide so far, and then you must trust that you have given them the tools to get through the bumps that will occur.  Maybe that is where as parents we are the ones to fail, we do not want to see our children get hurt along the path of life.  But without these experiences, how do you grow?  How do you feel empathy if you have nothing to relate it to?  How do you support your children while they are going through this?  How do you give them the confidence and courage to continue on?

Well, thanks to starting my Kung Fu journey, I am back to being a child and finding out AGAIN what that other side is all about. So, I am trying to be more aware of how my "Fathers" and "Big Brothers" interact with students during struggles. How they support instead of just fixing the problem, how they let each child set their own path, and how they inspire and motivate their children. Thank you for showing me things that I can use to become a better parent!