Something recently that affected me greatly was the challenge of my beliefs and values. Mike and I were told that we had too high expectations and we needed to bring them in check. It really makes you look at yourself when you are told that you have too high standards and expect too much of others on things that I believe are our foundation.
Some people may see things that are foundational to you as not important to them or others. My initial reaction to this comment was defensiveness (how can someone even challenge this) and hurt (what am I doing wrong) and self-doubt (why did I even do this). How can something as basic as responsibility and accountability be too high of an expectation? Where in society has things changed so drastically that its "acceptable" to be even less than mediocre. Why am I expected to reward someone for just "showing up"? Why is it wrong to push someone when you see their potential?
As I try to understand "why" I was challenged on my fundamental expectations, the hurt is starting to decrease and I am not quite so defensive but I am now finding a feeling of apathy and that bothers me more as now I am accepting mediocrity. That being said, I do not regret my decisions, regret is just a wasted emotion.
These emotions are really still raw but as I write this, I am realizing that my foundational values and beliefs are just that, they are mine. That is why we surround ourselves with like minds and feed off the same energies, but if we don't let ourselves be open and take the risk of getting our values and beliefs challenged, how can we be sure they are really our foundation? Everyone has values and beliefs and holds onto them strongly although they may differ slightly or greatly between each person. Trying to understand those differences will make us more compassionate to each other and that is what I am hoping to accomplish as I continue to work through this.
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