Sunday, 23 September 2018

The Merry-Go-Round

Do you remember riding the merry-go-round at  the park when you were young?  Starting to run around the outside and then the big jump onto the platform, hanging onto the bar.  The merry-go-round gathering speed, soon going so fast that you are hanging on for dear life, not able to let go and afraid to jump off.  Everything around you becomes a blur.  Something that started off fun but now you wonder why you got on in the first place.  Do you remember those days?

I have been thinking of this analogy many times as the last few months of work have been very busy and the last few weeks even busier.  I know that this will be continuing for the next few years and there is really no end in site.  I feel that I am holding on for dear life onto that merry-go-round while my days are blurring around me.  Afraid to take the leap off of it.  Knowing that it is a risk to jump off.

Eleven years ago, a couple of big medical events occurred that allowed me to stop that merry-go-round and look around.  Maybe that is why I am aware of being on that merry-go-round and that I want more.  Can I stop it?  Probably not, but eventually I will make the leap off trying to gauge the safest place to jump.  So what am I doing now?  This week was a blur with so many things out of my control, so I had to take control of the things that I could.  It took me a few days to get things back to some order and even as I drove into yoga classes on Saturday, I was still on the edge.  Now after a wonderful class of yoga that helped to ground me and then a great workout with Mr. Sollinger at open training, I am standing up on that merry-go-round, letting the wind whip through my hair and enjoying it.  Sometimes you just need a little help finding your balance so you're able to enjoy that ride again.

See you on the mats!


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