This holiday season has me reflecting back on my Kung Fu journey. Where I am, where I came from, and where I want to be. The biggest challenge I see for me on this journey has been and will be the mental one. I know that I am a very competitive person who wants to do her best and does not like to do things poorly. I do not like to be unprepared. I remember once when I did a forms session to learn Kempo II and during the demo portion I forgot ALL OF IT. I blanked out, turned red and just bowed to finish. Although I did not get any negative feedback from the Sifu's, I did not watch the demo video afterwards and would rather forget about the experience then learn from it. I started to feel these same feelings while watching the last lion dance practice. I was very disappointed in my performance and initially I wanted to ignore it and "just try harder next time" but I know that will not solve anything so I am reviewing the video over and over, looking for the things that I did not like and understand why I don't like them. I am looking at it with an analytical eye instead of a judgemental one.
"You must be able to correct yourself without invalidating or condemning yourself, to accept results and improve upon them." This is a very hard concept when I have high expectations of myself but I am learning to accept my results and work to improve them. This is really the only way to continue to grow.
See you on the mats!
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