Commitment

The last fews weeks were very busy with work and because of that I had let a commitment to a friend slide.  It was not on purpose but I still hurt my friend.  My initial reactions were "it was not my fault" and "let me explain" but those are just excuses for the one thing that I did not do, communicate that I was unable to do my commitment.

The thing that really surprised me was how much I wanted to give my reasons.  To better understand this, I had to think about what would happen if I didn't give any reasons and just owned it.  I acknowledged that I wanted to shift some of the blame away from me and once I realized this, I have no longer thought about the excuses, they really don't matter.  It still bugs me how strongly I wanted to have the opportunity to explain.  What type of person does that make me?  I use to think that I was a very accountable person, but this experience made me realize that accountability is not just taking responsibility when you were wrong, it is trying to do the right thing in the first place.

I hope this new understanding will help me in other areas.  For example, the hardest thing that I have yet to do is get up early to train before everything else starts in my day.  I know this will help with the scramble that I feel throughout the day but I still don't get up.  There is always something that stops me from dragging my butt out of bed, usually the need for more sleep and as I write this blog at 11:30 pm, I see the excuses already starting for tomorrow.  I need to ignore those excuses and just do it!  Sounds easy right?  I know it will be anything but easy but here's to doing it.

See you on the virtual mats!