Yesterday was the first day back into the Kwoon after so long. I forgot how much energy you receive with those around you. They say you miss things when they are gone. I didn't miss the energy when we were training at home, but once I stepped back on the mats it hit me like a rogue wave. My intensity stayed high without even trying. This couldn't have come at a better time.
I have had my fair share of struggles along this road. Most of them were easily identifiable. I had just stopped, sometimes even slipping backwards. This year the struggle has been more subtle. It feels like I am on a racetrack, in first person point of view as a greyhound, chasing the white rabbit around the rail. Each dog on the track is one of my requirements. I put all my effort on one dog. Driving forward, looking ahead, focused on that rabbit. Then my point of view changes and I am the next dog in the race. I know I have to work harder to catch up to the lead dog and ever have a chance at catching the rabbit. What works for that dog doesn't work for this one. Just when I find my groove in dog 2 and I am pulling ahead my point of view changes and its another dog and the last one in the pack is just playing with butterflies in the field. So you get the drift.
Although I have been moving ahead with my requirements, it feels like above. I don't want to stop and try something different as I am afraid I will lose ground but I also worry that the rabbit is going to stop and I will find myself back at the starting gate. So why am I not panicking? Because the Kwoon gave me a reset with my other areas of Kung Fu. I visualized throwing my opponent, I could see someone there when I was doing my techniques. It was small but helped me realize that I continue to move forward.
See you on the mats! FINALLY
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