Struggling

This is probably the hardest post to date that I write but it is also the most important one needing to be written.  I have been struggling these last few weeks and its been easier to withdraw than to talk about it.  I knew it was happening because I missed a couple of blogs and a couple of weeks of posting my numbers.  

Two things have contributed to this withdrawl. A couple of weeks ago, I strained my knee so even walking has been an issue.  The second was the delays for my treatment dates, things totally out of my control.  Okay, if I am honest there is also a third item that is the biggest, the blogging of my numbers.  The first two items have caused my engagement to be lacking which is a direct relation to my numbers.  As my numbers slipped, my engagement dropped resulting in a further drop in my numbers and continued drop in engagement.  I kept thinking I would put in a few reps, increase my numbers and then blog but no numbers were good enough.  I was not happy with the work that I was doing. It was a spiralling effect that would to continue to pull me down.  It impacted all aspects of my life.  I knew I needed to do something so I booked my 1-1 with Sifu Brinker.  Sifu Brinker reminded me that we need to be grateful for the things that we have done instead of only worrying about the things that we have not done.  Somehow I had let guilt slip back into Kung Fu which impacted my engagement.  

This is not the first time that I have struggled nor will it be the last.  Previous struggles have lasted longer with more impact, the difference this time is that I used Kung Fu as my temperature check.  When it was slipping so was everything else in my world.  By being aware I was able to recognize this and take action sooner.  I needed help so I booked my 1-1 and made sure I was attending classes.  So although these numbers are not good, here they are.  Accountability to myself and to the team.  

Week 6, 7, 8 and almost 9 Numbers

SU/PU - 2,700 /50,000
18Temple - 45/1000
Cane - 108/1000
Sparring 37/1000
KM - 74/1609
AOK - 185/1000 
Meditation - 8h 35 min/ 50 hours
Tai Ch/Yoga - 7h 22 min/50 hours
Learn a new language (Spanish) - WIP