Shoulder Rolls and Vertigo!

Tonight I am sitting with myself feeling a bit discouraged and a whole lot nauseous. One of the things I’ve been trying to do is work on areas where I know I’ve been lacking. Since returning from my transplant, I’ve been slowly testing what my body can do again.

Tonight I decided it was time to practice my shoulder rolls—something I haven’t done in four years. I knew it would take time to regain any real proficiency, but what I wasn’t prepared for was the realization of my current limitations.

I dragged a mat into the kwoon and gave it a try. My first shoulder roll from my knees was a little rough, but honestly not too bad. The next one felt better in terms of technique, but my stomach started to feel off. After a couple more attempts, my vertigo kicked in and I realized I was about to throw up.

I was really hoping to prove that, with a little practice, I could return to activities I was doing before my transplant. What I’m coming to understand is that while I continue to improve, there are still physical limitations that restrict certain movements.

Does this mean I’ll stop trying to do shoulder rolls? Absolutely not. But it does mean I need to approach them more intelligently. I don’t need to prove that I can do a shoulder roll—I need my body to be able to respond if I ever need one.

Tomorrow, I’m hoping to do just one and leave it at that, then reevaluate. A slower pace may be more sustainable. I still want to push my limits, because that’s the only way to improve, but these reality checks aren’t a bad thing. They remind me that as I move forward, I’ll always have some limitations—whether from age, transplant treatments, or injury. Still, I can continue to move forward as long as I do it in a smart way.