I can’t believe it is already the end of January. The month has moved quickly, and it feels as though every area of my life has been moving at the same pace.
I’ll start with Kung Fu. This year, I graded for my second degree black belt. I felt the grading was a solid representation of where I am today. While I was not successful, I was told that I am on the correct path—just not there yet. I am grateful for the opportunity to grade and for the insight that came with it. I continue to deepen my knowledge of Tai Chi and have begun working on the Buddha, an experience made even more meaningful by the opportunity to fill in while Sidai Csillag is away in Japan. This time of year is always busy, as preparations for the banquet are well underway for everyone in the I Ho Chuan.
Work has been equally demanding. The last time it felt this intense was during the installation of our new application at the beginning of Connect Care, years before my treatment. This month alone, we have already completed four rollouts and upgrades, with another scheduled for next week and the final, highest-impact go-live planned for February 10th. That week will easily be a 50-hour workweek. None of this was intentionally scheduled to overlap; rather, delays and shifting timelines came together to create the perfect storm.
At home, much of our energy has been focused on planning a major trip. We will be taking six weeks off work to visit Scotland—planned before my treatment—then Budapest, where Mike’s dad is from, and finally Germany, where I will meet my donor, Martina, and her family for the first time. As we have never travelled overseas before, there has been a great deal to learn and research, adding another layer to an already full season.
With all of this happening at once, I have come to recognize just how exhausted I am and how close to the edge I feel at times. I notice it in the small things—forgetting words, missing parts of a form, or becoming sensitive to situations that would not have affected me before. This has made it clear that now is the time to step back and reset, to ensure that the choices I make are truly what is best for me. I have decided not to take another German class until next fall, and Mike and I are exploring whether reducing my work hours is possible. I am also taking a closer look at what can be handed off and what truly requires my attention.
I have also made the decision not to join the I Ho Chuan next year, choosing instead to spend a year simply enjoying Kung Fu. I want to create space for visiting a Buddhist temple, meditation, camping, kayaking, skiing, travelling, and the many other experiences that bring me joy. I have begun journaling on Facebook as a way to share knowledge and experiences that may help others along their own paths. Most of all, I want to fully enjoy the life I have been given, and I am looking forward to seeing how the Year of the Horse unfolds.
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