Celebrating my family!

As we sat around the table with family celebrating an early Christmas, I was most impressed with the fact that during the night, every single one of my children sat with me and we had fun together. We talked and joked around.

This last week I have seen my boys stick up for their sister when she was having some social problems. I seen the others support Simon when he was having an anxiety problems.

As parents, we have worked hard to build relationships and foundations with friends and family. Nothing feels better than witnessing it first hand, knowing that something has sunken in.

I am assuming this is the same feeling our instructors have when they see something has finally taken root in their students. Seeing students grow and become confident. That was the reason we walked into the kwoon so many years ago. We wanted our children to have self confidence and I have observed this and so much more in each one of them. I know that we have done our part in this but there have been so many who have also been involved in molding them.  These are the things that I am grateful for this holiday season. 

My family, my friends, my community!

Until we are back on the mats!

Sustainability

This last few weeks have been really tough as work and home life have been off balance.  When one is in balance, you can usually compensate the other but when both are off, it does not take long to bring you to a breaking point.  In fact, this week I had to take Thursday and Friday off as vacation so I could regroup and settle myself back down.

I know that my work life will be very busy for the next 5 years as we are implementing a new healthcare software system throughout the province and my teams have two new integrated software systems that need to be up and running within the next 12 months, rolling out to the province throughout the next 5 years.

My home life has been busy with children graduating, getting ready for college, participating in clubs, helping Simon learn to cope and deal with his anxiety, trying to makes sure no one is left out, my commitments to I Ho Chuan, getting ready for Christmas, and the list goes on.

It was these thoughts that had me really contemplating if I would join another year of I Ho Chuan.  Don't get me wrong, I have loved this year and everything that I have learnt along the way, but in my mind, I just couldn't see how I could keep up this pace. I knew that I could not do everything that I am currently doing and I did not want to let down the I Ho Chuan team.

Sifu Brinker had talked with Mike and I regarding the above (Mike's work life is also crazy busy) and we talked about sustainability.  I need to make sure that my Kung Fu works for me and that if we focus more on the individual aspects that the team will benefit as well.

With four Kohuts joining the I Ho Chuan Pig year it will be busy, but it does not mean that we have to sacrifice our family time.  There should not be anything that feels like it is a sacrifice for this will not be sustainable.  I want to have Kung Fu as a part of my life forever and I want my children to have it throughout their lives as well so its all about learning how to balance, create priorities, and ensure your actions are sustainable.

See you on the mats!

Super Saturdays

Saturdays have become my time.  I look forward to getting up and heading into town. I look forward to changing into my workout clothes and hitting the mats.

It starts with Tai Chi class, which helps end the busy week and allows me to reset for the next.  It makes me focus on "where am I and what am I doing".  It allows me to listen to my body.  I find that I really need to "Focus my eyes, focus my mind, focus my body" when I am in class.  It is moving meditation.  It is building micro muscles. Tai Chi also allows for quality time with my son as I love practicing the moves during the week with him and having our time together.  I wish I would have joined this sooner but I am happy I am doing it now.

Next is Lion Dance practise during open training.  This is the ultimate exercise in focus and endurance.  Never anything the same twice, making changes on the fly, organized chaos.  I have noticed that there are finally times that I can "be the Lion".  Times where I am not always thinking about how to do the next unicorn step.  If you have not done a Lion Dance, you are missing out.  If you are a person who over thinks everything in Kung Fu (like I am), Lion Dance will help with that.  There is so much going on that initially I was overwhelmed and confused so I had to let go and just do it. This has been spilling over to other areas of my Kung Fu and improving that as well. The  Lion Dance is great exercise and you are having so much fun that you don't realize it until its over.  By the end of practise, the head feels like 50lbs, my face is red, and my legs are burning but everyone is always smiling when they pop out of their Lion.  

I know that these two activities have been helping me get through each week as my work stress continues to rise.  There are many times during the week when I start feeling overwhelmed and anxious but I can bring it back by using the tools that I have learnt in Kung Fu.  I just started exercising at work (I still struggle with finding the time but I am making it a priority),  do deep breathing,  ask myself "where am I, what am I doing",  do yoga or Tai Chi.  

So thank you Sifu Dennis and Sifu Brinker for taking the time during your weekend to instruct these two events, please know that it is greatly appreciated.  Thank you to the other Sifus who are always there to help and guide us and thank you to my teammates for your dedication and commitment.  I can't imagine where I would be without you.

See you next Saturday!

Community Engagement

This weekend we did the Salvation Army Adopt a Kettle and even though many of the Sifus and Candidates were busy grading, all shifts were filled and it went smooth with only a couple of minor bumps.  This couldn't have been accomplished without everyone not only coming to help, but going above and beyond as well, some staying late and others doing double shifts.  I was prepared to fill in wherever was needed but the few times that I stopped to check in, all I received was a "don't worry, we got this". What an awesome group!

So what did we accomplish?  We pulled together to raise money for a good cause.  We worked together to support the local Salvation Army, for people who will be needing help especially during the holiday season.  Not bad for only an hour (or two) commitment.  As part of Silent River Kung Fu, giving back to the community is an important part of our training and engagement. This is something that I can improve on because doing community work should not be something I just fit into my schedule.  The more I understand how I can help, the easier it is to flex my schedule to ensure I can make these things happen.

Another community event that we also participate in is the Adopt a Driveway program.  We go and shovel the walks and driveway for a an elderly couple who are so appreciative of our efforts.  If you would like to help with this, please contact someone from the I Ho Chuan team or a Sifu. Many shovels make light work.

Thank you to everyone who takes time to support our community.  For all those that helped at the Salvation Army Adopt a Kettle, a huge thank you as well!  

The Road to Recovery

I can't believe its been 4 weeks since I injured my ribs.  I really thought it was more than that because it has felt like it occurred so long ago.  This last week has been the first time where I have been able to do some (and only some) activities but I have lost so much that it feels like I have taken 10 steps back, actually it feels like 50 steps back.  As I have been down this road a couple of times, I knew that the road to recovery is more of a mental game than a physical one.  Its easy to make excuses and to not even try.  Its easy to get discouraged and wonder why are you putting yourself through this.  Its easy to say I'm too old for this.


What I learnt from previous injuries is that my body does not heal the way it did when I was younger and that I do need to slowly build things back up again so I don't reinjure it.  My brain knows that it will take time, that it will come back faster than before, that this is only a minor set back.  Funny how your brain can say all these thing but you really don't believe them and its easier to not do anything about it.  So why do we go on?  Well, I didn't start this journey to stop it now.


There have been a number of things this week that have helped me get back on track. 
1) reading and memorizing Mastery - one part talks about how everyone is ordinary but its our actions that help us on the road to mastery. 
2) Tai Chi classes - these classes are great alone, but when you have an injury, they help you move and slowly work those areas, gradually building strength and flexibility.  I have also found myself relaxing and allowing myself to be "in the moment".
3) Morning workouts with Mr. Sollinger and Sifu Robinson - I HATE HAVING TO GET UP THAT EARLY but my best days are when we do our workouts together so after, I love that we do this.  Everyday I am able to do a bit more.
4) My Instructors - I can't thank you all enough for letting me work on a backwards shoulder roll and some shrimping and then when I hit my limit, you have only supported me. This allows me to progress at my own pace.
5) My successes - I had to stop looking back to before the injury occurred and measuring myself.  For now, I look back a week and measure from there. This way I can measure my improvements, even if they are small, and right now they are VERY small but they are still going in the right direction.


Now don't get me wrong, I am constantly needing to evaluate myself and ask "Is this just an excuse so I don't need to do something OR is it truly legitimate".  I can always find an excuse, but once I realize its an excuse, it is easier to get up and do something.


This is my road from an injury that has actually improved greatly in 4 weeks.  For those of you that have been struggling from more significant injuries, my heart goes out to you as I can imagine how hard and dark this road can be but please do not quit. Only when we quit are we truly beaten. 


See you on the mats!

The Struggle with Anxiety

As many of you have read on my sons blog, he has struggles with anxiety.  As he posts about his path, there are many people who have stated they have the same or similar struggles.  It feels to me that anxiety is more common than it was when I was young.  Why is that?  Is it because people are more apt to talk about it or is it because there are more environmental pressures that cause it? Why does it affect one person and not the other?

My husband and I spoke at great lengths regarding this.  I discussed this with colleagues and friends.  There was consensus that there is now the ability to talk more openly of things that were taboo previously.  Mental health issues, anxiety, addictions,  all of these are no longer things that are left in a closet with hopes that no one will ever discover.  These are not easy conversations to have but they can be voiced and support is available.

But we also talked about the pressures that are facing people today that were never there previously.  Social media - the most likes, the most followed, the ability to have negative comments delivered anonymously, friended, unfriended, cyber bullying, 24 hour messaging and availability, pictures that will never go away, lack of privacy, videos that never go away, instant gratification.  Then there are the pressures that have been around for generations - get a job, get good grades, be the best person on the team, know what you want to do with the rest of your life, contribute to your community, and be an active member of society.

I know I have struggled with trying to find a balance with my children, teaching them proper use and self confidence but knowing that if I completely banned something, they would never know how to cope with it as a part of everyday life.  We are able to openly talk about mental health, anxiety, addictions but as a society, there is no indication of the want, or need, to decrease these external pressures so we are left to build better coping mechanisms and support structures.   Where does that leave our friends and loved ones that will be impacted by all of this?  Struggling, until we can get these pressures decreased, until we can get the right support, until we are able to find a coping stategy.  If you are struggling, never stop talking and seeking help.  You are not alone.

On the Right Path

I had a number of things going through my head this week but nothing would come to fruition.  So I went back to my earlier blogs and reread them.  Isn't funny how the things that you were concerned about years ago are either still around or just the opposite, they are so irrelevant that you wondered why you worried about them at all.  I noticed that it was the items that were in my control that were okay now.  I continue to focus on personal growth.  I have started taking Tai Chi and it has really helped me mentally. As well as feeling the way my body moves, I am starting to feel flow more frequently.  I sparred very quickly with Sifu Csillag and there was no fear, initially a lot of thinking, but even after a few minutes it felt more natural.  I know I can push harder, I know I can do more, I know that I am making my mind stronger as well as my body.


I took a look at the items that were still sticking around and started to wonder why are they were still there.  Many of the things that are out of my control, continue to be a struggle but it's recognizing that these are out of my control and that I can only be responsible for what I can control.  I worry about my children but I can only support them, guide them, set good examples, and be there when they need me. 


I noticed that when I am having a good day/week/month with Kung Fu, it is also when I am excelling in other areas of my life.  It is really good to take the time to review where you have come from and where you are going.  I was able to remember how far I have really come and that I am on the right path.


See you on the mats.