Tuesday, 31 January 2023

Lau Gar and chemo brain

Today was my first on video black belt class in 9 months.  I’ve been monitoring the class and working with the video off so I was very nervous.  I almost talked myself into “one more class” of video off. 

Why was I so nervous?  Chemo brain is a real thing. My forms (and most other things) take so much more thought process than before.  So I start to think “What if I don’t know them, will I look silly?”  All the ego self doubt talk that we all do at one time or another. I was about to use it as an excuse but figured I will do what I can.  I know I’m not being judged so why was I letting my ego dictate this.

I had Mike help me with Lau Gar before class.  I remembered more than I thought but I did have some issues with transitions.  When I did my class, I went at my speed and focused on trying to maintain grounding. My balance and stances were shaky but I actually made it through the entire class!  My cardio was up and my legs were feeling it but it was awesome! I was so energized that I wanted to do more immediately but the one thing that I have learnt these last 9 months is to take these small steps and pace myself just as long as I keep motivated to move forward!

Nice to be on the mats for another class!


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