Loss of routine

The loss of routine has greatly affected me.  Before my cancer treatment I had a great routine and I was able to carry this for the first few weeks in the hospital. But then I got really sick where I literally lost a month from my memory and lost another 4 weeks just fighting to heal. 

Now it’s 17 months since I was released from the hospital and I’m trying to do a gradual return to work.  At first I was so nervous “what if I can’t do it, what if I fail”.  Self doubt was weighing on me.  Then I realized I will have the opportunity to start routines again and only then did I notice how I still have NO routine in my life except medical appointments and my KF classes.  I make a list and will work on them during the day but I do not schedule time to do the tasks.  But it’s even more than that, I don’t have a routine daily schedule even outside of my tasks.  The only things I worry about is taking medications at the right time and my nighttime dental routine. I guess I do have some routine, tasks that I don’t even think about anymore.  I am excited to start expanding on these routines.  I will start with a few items to make sure they are doable and then work from there.  

I am sure that improving my routine is going to help in all areas of my life including my Kung Fu.  

Different degrees of effort for a similar outcome

Today I had my 6 month dental cleaning at the UofA dental clinic.  Two years ago I started going there as a requirement for my BMT transplant.  Because full body radiation and chemo impacts your salivary glands, there is more work that is needed to be done to maintain my dental health.  My night time routine takes over an hour.  Floss, waterpik, electric brush with special toothpaste, wait 30 minutes, fluoride rinse, wait 30 min, disinfect mouthguard, then after mouthguard is in place, add a xylimelt tablet to my gum to improve saliva production during the night.  Finally bedtime!  I actually use this time as my meditation time, bonus!

Since my last appointment, I added the waterpik because the other steps were just not enough.  I was so excited to get my cleaning done because I was sure it was going to go quickly.  My hygienist said it was a great improvement since my last visit and then proceeded to take forty five minutes to do my cleaning.  My excitement was slightly dampened even with the positive reinforcement but out came another learning experience.

Can a dental cleaning have any relationship to Kung Fu?  It sure did for me.  This was just another example of how an outcome can require different degrees of effort by an individual.  Everyone's body is unique so it takes different efforts and different activities to reach the same end point.  Nothing you can about it but do the work and enjoy ANY step of improvement.  Embrace your uniqueness! 

NUMBERS:  I lost my journal during our move and then I did not track any of my numbers so starting from Monday Jan 7th with my physio exercises.

- Dead bugs (SU) - 25
- Lateral and frontal arm lifts with weights (PU) - 30
- Sit to stands - 10
- Squats - 10
- Toe raises - 40
- Heel raises - 40
- Balance exercises - 30

Powerful experiences

A powerful experience is when a strong effect occurs on people’s feelings and thoughts.  This experience does not need to be positive to have a dramatic impact. 

Powerful experiences will bring changes to our lives.  A powerful positive experience can allow growth to an individual but when you need to do a deep soul search to understand why thoughts and feelings are not positive, it has the potential for exponential growth. 

Actually I learn more about myself when dealing with feelings and understanding emotions that arise when feelings and thoughts are not positive. I am lucky to be surrounded by people who help me dive deeper into myself and allow for growth to occur.  Only time will tell if it’s exponential.