Tiger Requirements

As I plan for the year of the Tiger requirements, I am finding these the hardest since joining the I Ho Chuan team.  I realize that I am not same person that started Kung Fu years ago, I am not the same person that started this year, nor am I the same person that woke up today.  My requirements are changing as I look deeper into the intent of what I am working to achieve as well as my potential to make these changes.  

One of the things on my list is learning to embrace my health issues.  I have lived with them, I have dealt with them, but my appointments were just hoops.  Things to check off to say "I'm fine, I'm conquering this" but chronic illnesses are not conquerable.  Diet, exercise, sleep, mental fortuity, meds, appointments and my medical team all play parts in keeping my illnesses controlled but I have not accepted the reality that these also make me who I am.  Accepting and embracing something is not a measurable requirement so I need to find tools to help obtain this. I am planning on using meditation and support groups but I also need to make sure these support my intent.

I am so appreciative for the successes and failures over the years as these have paved the path for where and who I am today.   As I look in the mirror tonight, I will thank the person that is there for she will be gone tomorrow yet she will always remain a part of me.  

See you on the mats!

Arggg!

We have been working on triangle stepping pattern this week and it is not flowing the way it should.  I thought it was because of my shoulder disrupting the middle of the form but as I was doing Lau Gar I noticed that my horse stance felt off.  No wonder my triangle stepping wasn’t flowing.  With more analysis (and videoing) I can see that I ALWAYS step forward on my horse stance so my feet are never aligned.  I thought I fixed that! WHY is it happening AGAIN!!! Arggg!!!!  I just want to cry!  

Okay, temper tantrum over.  I know I have a lot of work to do to fix this.  It was not cemented in before.  I have been trying to focus on flow and intent, was this wrong?  No, because it was during the practice of these that I noticed something not feeling right.  So now I need to find the right tool (starting with triangle stepping) to help me fix this and do REPS, REPS, REPS!

See you on the mats!

Out of Sync

 I was surprised how much I was knocked down after my surgery.  I knew I wouldn't be able to train for the week after but I thought I would be able to do all my mental activities but I couldn't even do those.  I also wasn't being honest with myself, I really thought I would be back to normal after the week off.  This is not the first time I have had procedures (nor the second, third or ...) but I continue to forget how much time you need to physically and mentally heal.  I did learn this time around NOT to go overboard and did ease myself back into a training so I wouldn't have a set back.  (I've had set backs before and it's even harder to recover from those.)  What really bothers me is that I have to DRAG myself to do any type of training.  It didn't help that I was not sleeping as I felt things starting to pile up as time ticked away, this made the next day even harder.  This cycle had to stop! So I am back to forms (still dragging myself to the mats but everyday will get better) and being happy with what I am doing, instead of worrying about what I am not doing.  

This is just a great example of when your expectations and reality are not in sync and how they can negatively impact your training and your life.  I am just happy to have the support to help me get back on track quickly.  

See you on the mats!  Tomorrow!!!

Removing Mediocrity

 Today I removed a number of apps that were not contributing to my path to mastery.  One was a game that I have been playing for years, yes years.  It was hard to delete something that I had invested so much time and money.  It was only a few minutes a day that I would use it but there was nothing that I was gaining.  It was not benefiting me in the slightest and I'm embarrassed to say that I knew I needed to remove it a long time ago but I just couldn't do it.  Today it was clear, mediocrity was me wasting precious minutes of my day doing nothing that had any benefit to me or to those around me.  Minutes that I will never get back.

Another app I deleted was one that I initially added when I was working to improve my memory (also a requirement for this year).  What happened was I lost the purpose of what I was trying to accomplish and found another addictive game and justified it as something that was satisfying my requirement.  I may have been needing to use logic to solve problems but it was something that I liked and was good at so I wasn't really going beyond my limits.  The best thing that has helped with improving my memory this year has been memorizing "Mastery".  At the beginning of the Ox year I did not even correlate the I Ho Chuan requirement as a tool for my personal requirement.  But like any tool, first you need to understand its application and then you actually need to use it properly.  It just took me some time to realize that there is more than one application for most tools. 

Kung Fu as a Distraction?

Tomorrow I go in for my procedure.  Am I nervous?  Just about the unknown.  Are they going to get it all in one appointment? Will I need a graft? How long will I be unable to train? That last one is a great distraction as I have spent a lot of today doing forms, physio exercises, board breaking practice, stretching, and so forth, keeping busy so I do not worrying about tomorrow.

But should Kung Fu be a distraction?  I use to think that it was.  It was a great outlet to release stress, to not think about work or other outside interferences.  I checked all my emotions at the door when I entered the kwoon, I was ready to learn Kung Fu.

This last year I realized that this was the wrong way to think.  It meant that Kung Fu was in a building, it was something to do like a hobby or a sport.  As I work on my mindfulness, I know that Kung Fu is so much more, it is integrated into all aspects of my life.  I find it in my work, I find it in my family, I find it in choices and decisions that I make.  

If I think of Kung Fu as a sport or a hobby it would be easy to quit when things get hard, but when I realize it is a lifestyle choice, then I have it as a tool to use when things get hard.  Was Kung Fu a distraction today?  No, it was a tool to allow me to worry about things that I can control instead of the things I can’t.

Can’t wait to be back on the mats!

Bad Sore vs Good Sore

 This week was a great example of bad sore vs good sore.

Wednesday we did break falls, grappling, shoulder rolls, and lots of rowing (that darn leek 😂). My knees and shoulder were sore before class and during class they downright hurt.  I was so upset, it was the first class in a very long time that I was just waiting for it to end.  I started doing modifications towards the end of class but I waited too long.  This is a bad sore, not because of class but because of what I did to get there.  I have been working on endurance and kicks and was over working my knees, my solution was Aleve.  I haven’t been drinking enough water. I had meat for supper the night before (only second meat meal in months).  All of these contributors caused the inflammation before class.  Class just inflamed it more.  Bad sore!

Then I had my physio for my knees on Thursday.  Not only was I getting more exercises to strengthen weak muscles but he was working to release the tightness in my quads that have been compensating.  With these released, it was easier to isolate the muscles that I needed to work on.  Those muscles are now sore but this is a good sore!  It’s because I am building strength not dealing with inflammation.

My physiotherapist asked what I wanted from physio.  “I want to keep all my parts as long as possible, I want to be mobile when I’m older, and I’m willing to put in the work needed to maintain that.  I know it will be a life long commitment and it will be hard work.”  His response “most people aren’t willing to work for the results” so I smiled and said “well I am”.  How is this relevant to the above?  It’s not just about working hard, it’s working hard with the right outcomes.  You need to aim for the Good Sore and realize which one is which.  Also I wouldn’t have been able to link my diet and water to this if I wasn’t logging everything.

Work smarter!  Log everything! 

Go-to’s

We all have our go-tos. Things that feel better for us, feel natural.  For me it is deflection verses blocking.  My natural instinct is redirection when possible.  Is this good or bad?  Being able to redirect and deflect is good, it’s becoming mine.  Being aware that something feels natural feels great, its a realization that all the training is coming together.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I do not like blocking but deflection is my first response. Why do I need to be aware of these natural progressions?   Because if I do not continue to work on blocking I won’t be able to use it when I need it.  I could fall into the habit of only using my go-to and that limits me drastically.  The less I use something, the quicker I lose it.

This is all about strengths and weaknesses.  I need to develop my strengths so my weaknesses become less relevant but I can’t ignore my weaknesses and hope they won’t be needed.  This is in all areas of my life.  Work, home, training.  For now I will celebrate the fact that I am developing my go-to of deflection.  Then I’m off to do forms to work on blocks.

See you on the mats!