Tomorrow I go in for my procedure. Am I nervous? Just about the unknown. Are they going to get it all in one appointment? Will I need a graft? How long will I be unable to train? That last one is a great distraction as I have spent a lot of today doing forms, physio exercises, board breaking practice, stretching, and so forth, keeping busy so I do not worrying about tomorrow.
But should Kung Fu be a distraction? I use to think that it was. It was a great outlet to release stress, to not think about work or other outside interferences. I checked all my emotions at the door when I entered the kwoon, I was ready to learn Kung Fu.
This last year I realized that this was the wrong way to think. It meant that Kung Fu was in a building, it was something to do like a hobby or a sport. As I work on my mindfulness, I know that Kung Fu is so much more, it is integrated into all aspects of my life. I find it in my work, I find it in my family, I find it in choices and decisions that I make.
If I think of Kung Fu as a sport or a hobby it would be easy to quit when things get hard, but when I realize it is a lifestyle choice, then I have it as a tool to use when things get hard. Was Kung Fu a distraction today? No, it was a tool to allow me to worry about things that I can control instead of the things I can’t.
Can’t wait to be back on the mats!
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