Kung Fu as a Distraction?

Tomorrow I go in for my procedure.  Am I nervous?  Just about the unknown.  Are they going to get it all in one appointment? Will I need a graft? How long will I be unable to train? That last one is a great distraction as I have spent a lot of today doing forms, physio exercises, board breaking practice, stretching, and so forth, keeping busy so I do not worrying about tomorrow.

But should Kung Fu be a distraction?  I use to think that it was.  It was a great outlet to release stress, to not think about work or other outside interferences.  I checked all my emotions at the door when I entered the kwoon, I was ready to learn Kung Fu.

This last year I realized that this was the wrong way to think.  It meant that Kung Fu was in a building, it was something to do like a hobby or a sport.  As I work on my mindfulness, I know that Kung Fu is so much more, it is integrated into all aspects of my life.  I find it in my work, I find it in my family, I find it in choices and decisions that I make.  

If I think of Kung Fu as a sport or a hobby it would be easy to quit when things get hard, but when I realize it is a lifestyle choice, then I have it as a tool to use when things get hard.  Was Kung Fu a distraction today?  No, it was a tool to allow me to worry about things that I can control instead of the things I can’t.

Can’t wait to be back on the mats!

Bad Sore vs Good Sore

 This week was a great example of bad sore vs good sore.

Wednesday we did break falls, grappling, shoulder rolls, and lots of rowing (that darn leek 😂). My knees and shoulder were sore before class and during class they downright hurt.  I was so upset, it was the first class in a very long time that I was just waiting for it to end.  I started doing modifications towards the end of class but I waited too long.  This is a bad sore, not because of class but because of what I did to get there.  I have been working on endurance and kicks and was over working my knees, my solution was Aleve.  I haven’t been drinking enough water. I had meat for supper the night before (only second meat meal in months).  All of these contributors caused the inflammation before class.  Class just inflamed it more.  Bad sore!

Then I had my physio for my knees on Thursday.  Not only was I getting more exercises to strengthen weak muscles but he was working to release the tightness in my quads that have been compensating.  With these released, it was easier to isolate the muscles that I needed to work on.  Those muscles are now sore but this is a good sore!  It’s because I am building strength not dealing with inflammation.

My physiotherapist asked what I wanted from physio.  “I want to keep all my parts as long as possible, I want to be mobile when I’m older, and I’m willing to put in the work needed to maintain that.  I know it will be a life long commitment and it will be hard work.”  His response “most people aren’t willing to work for the results” so I smiled and said “well I am”.  How is this relevant to the above?  It’s not just about working hard, it’s working hard with the right outcomes.  You need to aim for the Good Sore and realize which one is which.  Also I wouldn’t have been able to link my diet and water to this if I wasn’t logging everything.

Work smarter!  Log everything! 

Go-to’s

We all have our go-tos. Things that feel better for us, feel natural.  For me it is deflection verses blocking.  My natural instinct is redirection when possible.  Is this good or bad?  Being able to redirect and deflect is good, it’s becoming mine.  Being aware that something feels natural feels great, its a realization that all the training is coming together.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I do not like blocking but deflection is my first response. Why do I need to be aware of these natural progressions?   Because if I do not continue to work on blocking I won’t be able to use it when I need it.  I could fall into the habit of only using my go-to and that limits me drastically.  The less I use something, the quicker I lose it.

This is all about strengths and weaknesses.  I need to develop my strengths so my weaknesses become less relevant but I can’t ignore my weaknesses and hope they won’t be needed.  This is in all areas of my life.  Work, home, training.  For now I will celebrate the fact that I am developing my go-to of deflection.  Then I’m off to do forms to work on blocks.

See you on the mats!

The Benefits of Teaching

When you teach someone, it is both a humbling and rewarding experience.  Humbling because you will not know all the answers to the questions you will be asked.  And the best thing to do is admit that.  Find the answer or better yet, work on it together.  Kung Fu questions are not ones you can google, the answers are not in an ancient scroll somewhere (though finding an ancient scroll would be so awesome - understanding it would be even better but I digress).  Many questions will require you to do something over and over in slightly different ways to understand what is being asked much less the answer.  You need to help the student find those answers themselves, then they will retain that information  forever.  If you are told an answer, you will probably forget it. 

Rewarding!  You must be totally engaged when you teach someone.  You need to be present.  That attitude alone will have you soaking up information.  What?  You learn when you teach?  I have never learnt more about something until I am trying to teach it.  Everyone has something to teach so don’t let your ego blindside you by belt levels or ranks.  

One of the best things I can do for my engagement is to help someone else.  Remember that the key word is “help”.  As I said above, if you give someone the answers they won’t likely remember it tomorrow and the goal of teaching is to empower the student, not to prove how much you know.  If you want to feel more energized, more engaged, try teaching someone.

Tai Chi Influence

 If you have ever considered taking Tai Chi, just do it!  The benefits come in so many other places of Kung Fu.

  1. Let your hips lead you, not your hands- Recently I was reviewing a move in Long where my hands were not coming together at the same time.  I realized that I was leading the transition with my hands and not with my hips.  That simple change instantly fixed my issue. 

2. Don’t anticipate your next move, complete the move your on and THEN move forward. - This came up when I was focusing on Hung and my tendency to have a broken horse stance.  I was anticipating the transition and pivoting my foot which kept it splayed in the next move.  There are other things also at play but this is a major factor.

There are so many other benefits of Tai Chi.  It’s the first time I felt Chi, it’s helped lower my center, it’s helped with my balance because all those micro muscles get a work out but these two aha moments yesterday really showed how it benefits all my Kung Fu. 

(Level 1 will be starting up soon - just saying 😉)

See you on the mats!

Regaining my Balance

 This post will not be as positive as my other one today but both are valid since they are important in their own ways.

During our second degree class, I let the group know that I was struggling.  I have always admired those that have had the courage to show their problems, to be able to voice their fears along with their successes but yet I find it extremely difficult to voice my own struggles.  This month is filled with arbitrary deadlines both in Kung Fu, work and at home.  I have become panicked about Covid, knowing that I have a high chance of becoming sick but worse it could impact my surgery date.  All of these have simmered this month, slowly adding until it reached a tipping point.  The hard part is I did recognize I was struggling earlier and have been doing things to help (meditation, 1-1s, focused lists, etc) but it just was not enough.

There are so many thoughts circling in my mind: I have no right to complain, others have it worse.  Here I go whining again, people must be sick of hearing that.  It's all in my head, there is nothing to worry about.  How can I help others when I can't even help myself? I don't want to show any weakness.  I don't want to be a failure.  When I stop and evaluate, these thoughts are not the first things to let me know that I am struggling.  My first "canary" was my journaling.  It stopped!  When we try to find "root cause" at work, we ask "why" over and over until we reach the end.  So why did my journalling stop? Because I was not doing my foundational requirements.  Why? Because I changed my focus due to these arbitrary deadlines. Why? Because I need to prove myself.  Why?  Because I need to validate my spirit with my intent.  Why?  Because at work I am being told to do something that is unbalancing my spirit with my intent and I need to get that back in control. Why? Because when my spirit and intent are out of balance, there is a constant struggle while they are trying to resyc.  This is one root cause to my struggles but it is not the only one.  I know my mortality is also bugging me.  There is a friend issue also. All of these have stacked up and shifted my ability to maintain balance. 

Sifu Brinker said something today that really struck home.  Finding balance is like finding mastery.  You can come close to obtaining it but you never 100% get there.  I thought I had found balance and was relying on it to carry me instead of realizing that balance is always shifting, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly.  I need to identify these shifts, understand why they are occurring, and take steps to compensate instead of only reacting after I have been thrown face first into the sand and never realizing what hit me.  Luckily I have great teammates, great family, great instructors, great mentors that will always help me get back up and hold my hand as I work to get my balance again.  Hopefully next time I can catch myself before it gets this far but only next time will tell.

Correcting my Centre

 Females have naturally lower centres of balance!   Well that may be for most females but it was not the case for me.  I always carried my centre high and I have worked hard in my stances to lower that centre.  I knew it was lowering but I wasn't sure of the progress until this morning.  During today's morning walk, I became mindful of how I was moving and noticed my gait was smoother, my hips moved easily and my transition from one foot to the other was steadier.  I realized all of this was because my centre of balance was lower without me having to think about it.  How did that occur?  Was it just because I had been working on it during my forms?  

The answer is yes and no.  Working on my forms helped show me how a lower centre felt especially during transitions.  In Tai Chi, when we "sit in our high chair" I focus on lowering my centre and feel it.  When we are working on our techniques and I notice my centre has creeped up, I stop, take a deep breath, lower my centre and continue on.  But Kung Fu extends beyond the Kwoon, during my morning walks I try to be mindful on my centring.  Before it would not be until near the end of the walk that a low centre felt natural.  Today it was at the beginning of the walk and it was now becoming my normal.

We are reminded of the 50,000 rule.  We need to do something 50,000 times for it to become routine, for it to be natural, for it to be cemented in.  But it must be 50,000 repetitions with the correct form.  This means that the first 100 all need to be extremely mindful, then the next 100, and so forth until you can do a few reps with correct technique without having to focus so hard on each one.  Eventually you can increase your reps between checkins and if you find that you have reverted back to old habits you are back to square 1, needing to be mindful of each and every repetition.  Even after 50,000 you need to make sure you are always checking in, being mindful, otherwise bad habits will form and you know where that leads.  Yep, back to square 1.

Over the years I have had many things to correct that are so basic.  Walking (how I place my foot when I move forward - I use to step toe first), breathing (I use to be a shallow fast breather, still working on slower deeper breaths), posture (my shoulders were always raised and hunched forward but now they are down and back) and my centre just to name a few.  All of these were brought up in Kung Fu.  Not because I was doing something so obviously wrong that it had to be fixed at that moment, it was because Kung Fu helps us correct.  "Correction is essential to power and mastery..... You must be able to correct yourself without invalidating or condemning yourself, to accept results and improve upon them."  There is always something for me to correct, something to improve upon and there alway will be. 

See you on the mats!

A good training partner!

This bog is a thank you to my training partner, Ms Ferris.  A training partner can change how you approach things, how you see things and that is what happened this week. 

Ms Ferris and I were training the other day and she made a comment about my control and power.  I was taken back a bit because I didn’t think of myself as someone with control or power.  I really just didn’t think about it.  During one of my techniques, I hit Ms Ferris in the chest, hard enough to hear it but not enough to hurt her (at least that’s my intention 😉).  That was when it hit home that I do have control and power, don’t get me wrong it’s a work in progress, but it highlighted the difference in our belt level training, things you don’t see during the slow progression as you move forward.  

The next surprise was when I was trying to go for one lock and it wasn’t working but I was able to immediately move to another unplanned lock that did work.  I was actually reacting without thinking (too much).  

The other thing that is coming slowly is confidence.  There are many times that I feel unsure, not worthy but they get less and less as I train, as I gain experience.  Lots of great moments this week!  Can’t wait for next weeks.