The small things!

I love waking my children up in the morning, watching them open their eyes and start the day anew.
I love hearing the birds sing, hearing the noises of nature, the buzz of insects, walking the dogs.
I love to watch the sun rise, the colors that paint the sky as the sun sets.  The clouds floating by, the wind in the trees.
I love to watch the storm roll in, the wind pick up, see the lightening flash across the sky.  Hear the thunder.  Smell the rain. Stare in awe at the rainbow.
I love walking into the kwoon, the smell of sweat and bleach.  I love a good warmup. Learning new things, trying to perfect past activities. The friendships I have made, the team that has been built. The challenge and the opportunities.
These are the small things that I am trying not to take for granted, what are yours?

Back on Path

Have you ever found yourself laying on your back and you open your eyes and see the blue sky with cotton white clouds floating overhead?  You hear the birds singing sweetly around you and feel the cool breeze brush over your face as you take a deep breath.  What a beautiful day!

This all occurs in a blink of an eye, and then you begin to wonder.....how did I get here?

You turn your head and see the cart that you were recently on pulling away and your companions are waving and telling you to catch up. Now you have a choice.  Do I get up and run back after that cart, or do I lay back down and enjoy the day?  As the cart crests the hill and moves out of distance, leaving only a cloud of dust behind, the decision to lay back down seems to be the best (and easiest) choice.

You are not thinking in the future, you are only thinking of what to do right now.  It has not sunk in that soon you will be alone.  That you are lying in the middle of the road and if you do not get up and move, you will be run over by the next cart that comes along.  You are out in the open, so you must move to get out of the rain, heat, or the storm that is approaching.  If you remain still, you will get hurt!  You do not realize yet that the best choice is to brush off your clothes and head off to catch the cart.

This choice is not an easy path.  You can run and never seem to catch up.  You can loose sight of the cart and not know which path to take.  You may want to give up. So you need to stop and take a breath, because if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will catch up to the cart and find that your companions have always been there cheering you on and you are not alone.

I have found myself laying on my back more times lately than I would like to admit.  Most of the time with the wind knocked out of me.  But KungFu has taught me that even though the road ahead looks rocky, I cannot stay laying down.  So here I go, brushing myself off and heading down the road to catch up with you all again and my first step is with this post.

Reverse AOK

I like to think of myself as a kind person but these last few weeks have brought a few things to light that I am not very proud of.  I wanted to take a different spin on our Acts of Kindness so I have been trying to recognize when I am NOT doing something nice and then ask WHY?

I really noticed that I was the least considerate when I was in a hurry.  I became very self-absorbed and really self-centered.  It was even worse when I was driving.  This really scares me, because I am sure that these feelings must also be in many of the vehicles around me during the morning and afternoon commute.

Here were a few specific examples of what occurred:
- I did not let people in when I normally would have and boy was I surprised at my excuses I made to myself to justify these actions. Why do they need to change lanes now, they should have done it sooner.  They are driving slow, I don't want to be behind them.  They can get in after me.
- I became judgmental of people around me and it changed the way I looked at events.  Seeing an old or homeless pedestrian starting to cross the road when the hand light started to flash had me focusing on how this was going to affect me They are never going to get across, why couldn't they wait instead of on them Do those other cars see him, will they stop?
- I ignored people around me.  I would run from one place to another, not really noticing if someone else was coming in the door behind me where I would have normally stopped to hold it.  I did not smile or make eye contact at the people around me.

Although am quite embarrassed about admitting these thoughts (and there were others that are not listed here), I am also okay with it.  As I recognize the WHYs when I am not being the person I want to be, only then I can change my triggers and the fundamental way that I think and I hope this will make be a truly kinder person in the long run.

A Kohut Adventure

Today we had an adventure!  I was heading to Stony to get this weeks groceries when I noticed a dog walking down the middle of the road.  A car was coming towards me and had to slow down as the dog would not move off the road.  I had to come to a complete stop as the beautiful brown and white Husky walked up to my bumper and eventually walked around the car to let me by.  I proceeded on my way and as I approached the top of the hill, I glanced in my rearview mirror and saw him sitting in the middle of the road, looking around seeming kind of lost.

Many things went through my mind at this time, but two that I remember clearly are:
"I am sure he will find his way home eventually, I really need to get groceries."
"What will happen if on my way home I see that he got hit by a car, boy will I feel bad"
Then I realized that I was just being selfish.  The very least I could do was try to help him, so I turned around and pulled into an approach.  The dog followed my car and when I opened the door to see if he had a collar, "Harvey" jumped right over me and sat in the passenger seat.  He looked at me like he was saying "come on, let's go!".  So I drove back home to figure out what to do next.


Mike was in the middle of supper so "Harvey" (the kids named him immediately) caused a bit of chaos to the Kohut household.  Between three dogs running through the house, trying to find "Harvey's" owners, getting supper ready, kids ready for school, finishing up the spring cleaning we had started, and figuring out what to do with "Harvey" if it will take a few days to find the owners. Everyone pitched in, it was awesome!

After a few hours of the chaos, Mike and I decided to take him for a walk where I had found him. His owners must be missing him by now and maybe we will get lucky.  "Harvey" rode in the vehicle better then either of our dogs, or our kids for that matter.  I put him on a leash and away we went.  He walked right to a house and sat by the garage.  I rang the doorbell and asked the elderly man if he owned a dog.  He told me that he does not have any animals and then looked down and smiled.  "But that guy is Thor and he keeps running from the family that is looking after him right now".   He introduced himself and phoned the owner of the dog to let him know that he would hold Thor until he could be retrieved.  I had a nice conversation with his wife as well and they asked us to come back and visit on another day.

As Mike and I drove home, we laughed how this little wrench in our day had us meeting "Harvey" (he will always be Harvey to us), making a new relationship with a couple down the road, and seeing our family pull together to get a lost dog home.  We didn't get any time to reminisce though as we drove up to our yard and found OUR son trying to get OUR dog unstuck from under OUR neighbours shed....but that is another story for another day...

My wish to you is that you may have the opportunity to have an adventure this week, you just never know where it will take you.

The Path not to take!

I just wanted to start off with assuring Sifu Beckett that I did not miss Thursday and Saturday because I forgot 18 Temple Motions.  I was not in class on Thursday as I had a minor day surgery procedure, it went very well. I actually felt AWESOME, my biggest complaint was a minor sore throat from the airway. My first thought is "woohoo, now I have two days off" ..... so I didn't rest as much as I was suppose to, I didn't follow the instructions that must have been written for other patients.  I was happy and elated and had a long list of things to do!

But later my family dealt with the grumpy version of Jackie because I wasn't feeling too well and now I actually had some pain, just enough for me to be cranky.  So they had to deal with me for four days instead of probably only the two that it should have been, and yet they were so awesome to me. Thank you family!  

So please learn from my lesson, listen to your body but also follow the instructions you've been given no matter how good you feel.  Ignoring this advice will only cause you to take a longer path then you needed to and miss out on a whole bunch of cool Kung Fu.  This is one path I do not wish for any company!

Moving forward

I was so excited after open training this week.  Sifu T. Beckett helped me finish the 18 Temple Motions form.  I can feel this form is already helping with centering and with stances.  Sifu Beckett also helped with a few of my areas where I was over-exaggerating my motions thus throwing off my center.  Funny how that all relates together.

I am a person that needs to go over and over and OVER a form before it cements into my head so I practised until I was sure I could remember it when I got home.  My plan was to go home and video tape myself so I would remember the form for next week.  Things got busy so I was going to tape it tonight.  Guess what?  I couldn't remember all the moves!  I was so disappointed.  I almost just gave up but then I thought if I lost this much in one day, how much am I going to lose tomorrow.  I looked it up online and step by step filled in the spots that I missed.  I am now back to where I was yesterday but I know that if I don't practice it again tomorrow, I will slip back and not move forward. 

Here's to moving forward....

Self Doubt

I do not like self doubt!  I like to analyze things and then make a decision.  Once my decision is made, I will stick with it until other facts are presented that may changes my path. This week I have had two things that have made me doubt my decisions. 

The first is due to a new position that I have applied for.  I work very closely with two directors who have also become friends.  Although they are very supportive, one has also has made it very clear that he does not want me to leave.  That my leaving would be have a negative impact to his business.  I must say its is a very nice feeling to know you have done a good job but now I am second guessing my decision for even applying.  Am I doing this for the right reason? Is my current team at the high functioning level that I believe they are at or will I leave them in a mess? I believe I have left a good succession path but am I really seeing the truth?

The second is my form decision.   I chose to do Stick 1 and 3 since I am also learning a net new hand form.  But it feels like I am the only one who is not developing a form.  Now I am second guessing myself again. Did I take the easy way out? Is perfecting this form good enough?   Is there an opportunity that I may be missing by not creating my own form?

I know that I will carry forward with both paths as this is only my journey to take, but I also know that it is time for me to talk to people, to make sure that I am looking at things with my eyes open.  I think the thing harder for me than self doubt might be asking for help along the path.

Feb Numbers

This week has been pretty rough.  My numbers are not where they should be after the week of flu/cold.  It feels like I'm starting over again.  This is more of an excuse then a reason and now I need to get back on track.  I also know some of my numbers are lower since I missed journaling them. 

P/U (modified) 895
S/U 1220
Hand Form (what I know of it so far) 18
Weapon Form 33
Rounds of sparring 0
Distance in km 36
AOK 28

The WOW factor

Wow!  That is the only thing that keeps coming to mind when I think of yesterday's ceremony.  It is a prime example of ordinary  people doing extraordinary work.  It is very humbling to be around so many of these people and their attitude is always so infectious.  I was very lucky to be become involved in such an amazing team this year, and having an active part in the ceremony brought another perspective to this amazing day.  This day could not have happened without everyone!

There is not a single person on the I Ho Chuan team (past and present) that has not had an impact on me this year.  These have ranged from obvious assistance and advice, to the silent acts that I have witnessed.  If you cannot think of how you may have influenced me,  we definitely need to chat.
Please take a moment to think about the positive impacts that YOU have had on the other members of the team and the people around you. 

The Monkey team has been given a challenge, to continue the momentum that the Sheep team created.  Are YOU willing to accept this challenge?  I know that together not only can we  accept the challenge but bring our own WOW factor to the year ahead  Lets go MONKEYS!

"Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees" - The Monkees

Week 1

Monkey Week 1
Modified push-ups 530
Sit-ups 700
Hand form 10 (the first 7 moves)
Weapons form 13
Distance 3 (I am buying a Fitbit cause I am sure I have done way more)
AOK 12 (need to log these more)

Things I learned. 
Should have been training sooner (huh, who told us that?)
Its okay to do modified.
Need to log more constantly

First setback!  Haven't done ANYTHING these last two days as I have been sick (low grade fever, coughing, just feeling blah).  At least I will be better by Friday but my numbers aren't very good.

Sportsmanship

Our middle son loves soccer, he loves the teamwork, he loves the sport.  He has been lucky to be on a team that also focuses on sportsmanship.  This year we received an email how our son’s soccer coaches were proud that the team showed such good sportsmanship during a tough game and how the kids played hard but had fun.  We later heard about the other team players and coaches swearing and how our team did not retaliate but just played harder.  We witnessed the parents being warned by the referee for their behaviour during the game.  This was not an isolated occurrence and speaking with parents of other sports, this is not unique to soccer.  How can we expect the behaviour of the children to be any different than the adults around them?  How do we expect the behaviour of those around us to be any different if we don’t set the example ourselves?  Not only am I proud of my son and his teammates during that game, I am also proud of his coaches as they were instrumental in ensuring good sportsmanship continued throughout the game and the year.

What is sportsmanship?  The Merriam-Webster Dictionary states “fair play, respect for opponents, and polite behavior by someone who is competing in a sport or other competition”.  Kung Fu focuses on both individual and teamwork but the one thing that I have noticed is the there is not a focus on “good sportsmanship” and I believe the reason for this is because it is considered a foundation of Silent River; it is a requirement not an option.  It is modeled in class by instructors, it is expected from all students, it’s taught in class (e.g. how to be a good partner), and involves everyone trying to support each other in a positive way.  Wouldn’t it be nicer if we could find these actions more ingrained in our society instead of these few isolated instances?

I am using my I Ho Chuan year as an opportunity for a personal self-awareness journey.   I am trying to be aware of my actions and reactions and what example they may be setting to those around me.  The only thing that I have control of is my actions and my thoughts, and only I can make the negative into a positive.  Maybe if more people tried this, we wouldn’t need to worry about defining “sportsmanship”?

Supporting your children

Its been a difficult week watching those around me dealing with issues.  Being a person who does not like seeing other people hurting, this has also been very hard on me.  That is probably the reason I ended up in the healthcare field, I want to help.  But how do we support those around us in the correct way?

It is so easy to jump in and try to solve the problem.  I have been working for many years to halt this immediate response and it truly still takes a conscious effort.  I know that solving someone else's problems does not help that person learn and grow but it's still hard to just sit there. Sometimes its easier just to do it yourself, but that is only a temporary fix.

One of the hardest things is a parent watching a child struggle.  You want to give them the tools so they can grow, not just give them the answers.  You try to instill good work ethics, critical thinking, and accountability which seems to be slipping in this day and age.  In the end it is still up to them to make the choices and want to learn even if it is frustrating for us.  You can only guide so far, and then you must trust that you have given them the tools to get through the bumps that will occur.  Maybe that is where as parents we are the ones to fail, we do not want to see our children get hurt along the path of life.  But without these experiences, how do you grow?  How do you feel empathy if you have nothing to relate it to?  How do you support your children while they are going through this?  How do you give them the confidence and courage to continue on?

Well, thanks to starting my Kung Fu journey, I am back to being a child and finding out AGAIN what that other side is all about. So, I am trying to be more aware of how my "Fathers" and "Big Brothers" interact with students during struggles. How they support instead of just fixing the problem, how they let each child set their own path, and how they inspire and motivate their children. Thank you for showing me things that I can use to become a better parent!

Ready, set, go?

The year of the Monkey is 8 days away.  Where did the time go? 

Am I ready?   I have prepared by creating my tracking tools, starting to blog weekly, working on identifying and increasing Acts of Kindness, working on my personal goals, modifying schedules to increase time availability. I solidified my hand and weapon forms and I am so excited about being a part of the Monkey team.  I am ready!

Wait a minute, I am sooo NOT ready!  I have not rolled out of bed to start doing my push ups and sit ups.  I think about getting on the treadmill.  I have a new form to learn before I start my 1000 reps.  I am hoping everyone will forget that I challenged myself to do standing rolls before my next grading, because grading starts tomorrow and I have not succeeded at this challenge (have I failed before I even started?).   I ponder the posts from the Sheep Team and occurrences that delayed progress.  This makes me wonder how do I jump into my push-up commitments without re-injuring my shoulder and thus affecting my performance on the dragon team? How do I make the fitness portion become habit? How do I make the choices that will lead me down the right path?  Do I know my ability and my limits? Questions with no clear answers.

Being a part of the Dragon dance, I start the Monkey year with an advantage from new I Ho Chuan members as I have been exposed to the program and what people can accomplish individually but especially within the team.  I have gotten over the nerves of stepping into the kwoon (where do I bow in, where do I stand, what should I be doing, am I in the way?).  I have seen how the Sheep members have been inspirational and supportive to their teammates. I also start the Monkey year with a disadvantage of a net new member as my optimism has been tempered with realism.  I have seen the struggles of the Sheep team and individuals within and know that this will occur in the Monkey year but when. I know that this will be the most challenging year I have encountered, as it will be for many teammates, as it has been for many before us.

I am 8 days away and the nervousness creeps up again.  This is a leap of faith, placing trust in a team to help when I struggle, to trust that the program will work.  But I know that I can be there to support others and for that I am ready! Have I already set myself up for failure, absolutely not!  The path to the year of the Monkey has taken it first curve, but lets see where it will lead to.  Ready, set, lets go!

Routines

As I prepare for the year of the Monkey, one of the things I know I have to change is my routines.  How do I make better use of my time during the day so I can fit more into it?  I really didn’t think that I could get more into my day but I figured I better try if I wanted to fit more Kung Fu into it as well.  So during the last few weeks our family has been trying to get into a routine of meal planning.  We are also writing down school, Kung Fu, soccer, skiing, swimming, and work schedules in advance and making sure we are prepared (our calendar sure looks like a Tetris puzzle).  As with any good intentions, the first few weeks went well and I found more time to do new things.  Then this week we had a few unexpected bumps (a late night work meeting one evening, friends over to visit another evening, and family over for supper) and before we knew it our routine started to slide.  All of a sudden my stress level increased because tasks were not getting done and I didn’t know where to even begin, so I did nothing. 

Today I was thinking of the last I Ho Chuan meeting and how it is not only the journey that we do but what we are doing right now that counts.  So with a deep breath, I tried to forget about what I didn’t do (and that is not an easy thing to do hence the reason I say tried) and started doing what needed to be done.  Funny thing was that I got caught up and I feel that I am back on track (for the start of this week at least).  I know that this does not even come close to the challenges that I will face this year ahead, but if I can catch myself soon enough after I have stumbled and continue on maybe I can make these changes in routine become a habit and then I can introduce a few more. 

Impact of Acts of Kindness

I noticed this week that there was a lot of media attention around “Acts of Kindness (AOK)” gone wrong. A women who bought a lunch for a man at McDonald's who she thought was only in there to stay warm, only to see his lunch arriving just as she dropped off one off. She was embarrassed and walked out. Someone paying for a hotel room for a homeless couple and then getting a big bill for damage.

There is something about doing an AOK anonymously. We might do that to remain anonymous, we might do it because we are shy, but sometimes it can also protect us from any embarrassment of an AOK gone wrong. Sometimes I find myself in the position of wanting to do an AOK but afraid that it will be misconstrued so then I miss out on an opportunity that will never be there again.

This summer, Simon had come to work with me and we stopped to get some snacks for the team meeting. While standing in line, an elderly lady ahead of us had a few groceries that you knew was her meal for the day. He leaned down and whispered in my ear “can we pay for her groceries Mom?” I explained to the teller that we would like to add her groceries to ours, and the teller got a big grin. It took some explaining to the elderly lady, but then she started to cry and was so thankful. She gave Simon such a big smile and he shyly smiled back. I was so very proud of him at that moment.
You will never know how an AOK will affect you until you try it. It continues to surprise me how an AOK affects me, but I cannot be doing an AOK for me. It’s a fine line wanting to do something nice for someone and doing it to make you feel good. Sometimes I have to stop and think “am I doing this for the right reason”.

I have not started recording AOK’s since the Monkey year has not yet started but that is going to change. I should not need a start date to journal AOKs or I am going to forget the little things that happen every day, and I know its going to take some time for it to become a routine, but you need to start somewhere.

Would you think that going to invite our driveway families to the Silent River Banquet could turn into an event that would affect me? I didn’t, until at one house when I knocked on the door and was immediately invited in. I could have stayed on the doorstep and did a quick invite and left, I am ashamed to admit that it even crossed my mind. Then I hesitated and remembered I am representing Silent River so I stepped through the door. I ended up having a wonderful conversation, I was shown pictures of all her grandchildren which she proudly displayed on her wall, she spoke of the health decline of her husband and how much he has changed, she showed me a picture of him when he was a handsome 21 year old, and then hugged me (honest Mr. Repay, I did not initiate that one first). She was so thankful for the invite since they do not get to go out much anymore. I was proud to represent Silent River Kung Fu and the Adopt a Driveway Program and I know I will stop in again. Here was a chance to build that personal relationship that Sifu Brinker is always asking us to do. Putting myself out there is a risk that I need to take even if it could end up leaving me a little embarrassed because you never know how the smallest gesture may affect someone’s day, even my own.





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The First Step

May 2013 - Well, completed the first step.  Signed up for Kung Fu classes.  What have I gotten myself into?   I am excited and scared at the same time.  I am sure everyone can understand the excited part, but why scared?  Let me count the reasons.  To simply state it:  Old and out of shape.  Starting something like this in my 40's is probably pretty crazy but here is some of the background.

My husband and I have 3 kids that have been doing Kung Fu for a number of years and they really enjoy it.  We like seeing them get involved with community events, learning to think of others, and the obvious, getting exercise.  After spending MANY years running them around and us sitting on the side lines, it was time for us to do something and this seemed like fun.

Why would I be scared?  Reviewing the curriculum AFTER I signed both my husband and I up (I wasn't doing this alone) I then focused on the criteria.  It was probably self preservation that I did not look at this before I signed up and paid for the first month.  The fitness stripe consists of sit-ups, push-ups, squat thrusts, and kicks.  WAIT ONE MINUTE!  I haven't done a squat thrust (otherwise known as burpees) in almost 30 years.  Oh boy. Why would I think it would be easier for adults then the kids.  Foolish girl.

Good thing that I don't like to loose.  I should get through first class at least.  First class is in 5 days.  Should I start working out now just to get started?  Probably but most likely won't happen. 

Better wish me luck.

A New Journey - Pushing your comfort zones!

I attended an I Ho Chuan meeting yesterday and blogging is one of the requirements.  While trying to get this started, I stumbled upon the first blog that I ever created the day I signed up for Kung Fu in 2013.  I laughed as I read it, I was so excited and so scared.  I did not look at the requirements before I signed up and that made me more nervous.  My ending comment was "What have I gotten myself into?"

Almost three years later, I have now started another journey in Kung Fu and that is with the I Ho Chuan Monkey team.  This time I reviewed the requirements beforehand and even gained some understanding while assisting the dragon team.  The funny thing is that I still feel excited, scared and nervous while thinking "What have I gotten myself into?".

Many people in your life will influence you.  Your parents may give you new responsibilities, your friends may push you to try new things (and the quality of your friends is shown by these choices, but that is for another blog), or your teacher/boss may push you to do a presentation that you may not be comfortable with.  They are helping you to do things that are outside your comfort zone.

The one thing I have learned in Kung Fu is that I make choices that influence ME and my comfort zones.  My instructors have always been there to guide and teach me, but it has always been up to me to execute.  A prime example is my shoulder rolls.  I could progress through a few more belt colors doing shoulder rolls from a kneeling position.   I can do them on a mat just fine, but remove the cushy mat and my brain starts to add doubt  I could get hurt, I don't have the right technique, blah, blah, blah. so I move back to a kneeling position.  What is this gaining me? NOTHING!  I am taking the easy way out.  So, my goal is to do them from a standing position before my next belt grading and I develop a plan to be successful.

"What have I gotten myself into?" A new, challenging, and exciting  journey that will most certainly push me outside of comfort zones but looking back over the road I have traveled so far, its not quite as scary as I originally envisioned.